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If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve man, but deteriorate the cat.
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The right word may be effective, but no word was ever as effective as a rightly timed pause.
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The public is the only critic whose opinion is worth anything at all.
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When I was younger I could remember anything, whether it happened or not.
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Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
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Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
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We all do no end of feeling, and we mistake it for thinking. And out of it we get an aggregation which we consider a boon. Its name is public opinion. It is held in reverence. Some think it the voice of God.
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He had discovered a great law of human action, without knowing it - namely, that in order to make a man or a boy covet a thing, it is only necessary to make the thing difficult to obtain.
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Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
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Truth is the most valuable thing we have. Let us economize it.
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Facts are stubborn, but statistics are more pliable.
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Man was made at the end of the week's work, when God was tired.
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I was seldom able to see an opportunity until it had ceased to be one.
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As I slowly grow wise I briskly grow cautious.
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The Christian's Bible is a drug store. Its contents remain the same, but the medical practice changes.
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I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.
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When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
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He had only one vanity; he thought he could give advice better than any other person.
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The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that procession but carrying a banner.
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There are several good protections against temptation, but the surest is cowardice.
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A round man cannot be expected to fit in a square hole right away. He must have time to modify his shape.
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The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane.
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There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably desirable.
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Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.