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I basically lived like a guy for, certainly, the first decade of my career, and I just wanted to blend in.
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When threatened, the nervous system sometimes goes into a 'freeze response.' You assess the risk and determine that fight or flight doesn't help you. Staying put does.
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There have been many great newspapermen, but to my mind, only two have achieved immortality: Pulitzer for his endowment and William Randolph Hearst for his castle.
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In over thirty years working in TV and movies, I've never had an exit interview or contributed to a 360 assessment.
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There's this perception that there's a pipeline problem for women and people of color. I don't buy into that. I think we have a broken doorbell problem, and there are plenty of women and people of color standing at the doorstep trying to get in the door, and nobody's opening it.
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Garry Shandling's stand-up specials were masterpieces of tightly crafted stories that delivered both hard jokes and hard truths. He was neurotic and self-deprecating, and his observations on life cut deep.
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Like Lindsay Lohan and Lauren Conrad, Barack Obama is addicted to his BlackBerry.
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Blondness is a core Trump-family value: Both Donald Jr. and Eric got the memo and married blondes.
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I realize that 'hire qualified women!' is the sort of outraged demand that's often met with a sigh. No one disagrees, and yet gender inequality in high-paying positions extends into all professions.
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One of the great things about being in entertainment is you have access to the media. People pay attention to you.
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I learned not to get too happy about good news or too distraught about bad.
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Writing for TV made way more sense than writing for magazines. And by sense, I mean money.
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I'm a little sad that they actually came up with the metaphor of waves for feminism. By definition, a wave goes in, and it comes out. I would really like it to be a tsunami that creates a flood that forever changes the landscape.
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My first joke that ever aired on 'Late Night' was for a list of 'Top 10 Least Popular Summer Camps.' My contribution - 'Camp Tick in beautiful Lyme, Connecticut' - squeaked in at No. 10. Like a trip to Camp Tick, my time at 'Late Night' faded into memory like a short session at a dicey summer camp.
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You want a diverse writers' room, not because it's the fair thing to do or the right thing to do, but because it's the best thing to do for your show. I've seen that to be true.
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I was ahead of the gender curve, but I wasn't ahead of the intersectionality curve, and I get it now. It's important to me.
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When blue-eyed Donald Trump married hazel-eyed Ivana Zelnickova, he probably figured his broad-shouldered DNA would dominate her girly alleles. But genetics played a cruel trick on Trump: Of the couple's three children, only the youngest, Eric, wound up with his father's fishy blue eyes.
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To be happy about the fall of one powerful man is to know there are another 10 that need to follow.
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Smash together the Grammys, Oscars, Emmys, and Tonys, and you get the Green Room at the Kennedy Center Honors.
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The more successful you are as a man, the more you're liked. And the more successful you are as a woman, the more you're disliked.
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Making someone laugh is the simplest, most basic positive human connection.
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I've worked on over twenty TV staffs, and nine out of ten male colleagues are wonderful, inclusive, and professional. Still, there's usually one guy - the Tenth Man - who turns a fun job into a dental appointment.
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I'm such an admirer of Wendy Davis.
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Once, after a long week, I felt so insecure that I decided to make a list of people who thought I was funny even if I didn't think I was. At the top of the list, I wrote, 'Garry Shandling.' His early praise protected me like a comedy-writer version of Harry Potter's scar.