Demetri Martin Quotes
I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'

Quotes to Explore
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I hadn't learned to read by third grade, which wasn't unusual for some kids. I knew something was wrong because I couldn't see or understand the words the way the other kids did. I wasn't the least bit bothered - until I was sent back to the second-grade classroom for reading help after school.
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In a democracy, allegations will never improve situations. So, I'm against allegations, but I always welcome criticism.
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I need instant gratification.
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Any well-read man knows that the moral difference between the condition of the world before Christianity was planted and since Christianity took root is the difference between night and day, the kingdom of heaven and the kingdom of the devil.
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It was a labor of love and they did really well.
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A lot of time mistakes are very interesting - you look for the behaviour that's not the one you expect.
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I'm hoping someday that some kid, black or white, will hit more home runs than myself. Whoever it is, I'd be pulling for him.
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In a small space, you want to keep the bedding as simple as possible so it looks clean, calm and collected.
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I don't go out. I don't go to clubs. It's not my thing. I sit at home with my glass of wine and watch hours of reality TV. I have a million shows on my TiVo.
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I do have, like, a regular childhood. I mean, I'm treated the same.
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How do we get more politicians to move from 'fixing' the system to reforming the system? The obvious answer is to either improve the quality of public services or reduce the public's dependence on them. Both approaches are necessary.
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Acting is an aesthetic career, which is annoying.
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I try to travel as much as I can... I'm always looking for a reason to.
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Print-on-demand and electronic self-publishing options have made it easy for anyone to set up a business as a publisher whether they know what they're doing or not.
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It was kind of exciting being on the radio. Not everybody was on the radio.
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I have great respect for Jaypee Greens as a company that has produced a truly world class, 24-carat, championship golf course. I am happy to be associated with a company with such outstanding qualities.
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We gave the world dab fever!
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We need an unambiguous rule - a law - that nobody will step between the publisher and the consumer, full stop.
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I was part of the generation that pushed the Internet. In fact, I broke as an artist in the U.S.A. because of the Internet.
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I saw this on CNN a few days ago. In New York these cops freaked out. They shot at this guy like 15 times 'cause they said they thought he had a a grenade. HE WAS EATING A PEAR! How do you fuck that up?! Unless he was eating it like 'AHHHHHH! *throws pear* THAT'S A DELICIOUS PEAR!!!'
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Success is finding satisfaction in giving a little more than you take.
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I know the way you can get / When you have not had a drink of Love: / Your face hardens, / Your sweet muscles cramp. / Children become concerned / About a strange look that appears in your eyes / Which even begins to worry your own mirror / And nose.
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That is what happens when teams play with desperation and the other team comes out and doesn't play at the same level. We just got beat to the ball too many times and they were active and aggressive. They beat us with the nature of the play.
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I wonder what the most intelligent thing ever said was that started with the word 'dude.' 'Dude, these are isotopes.' 'Dude, we removed your kidney. You're gonna be fine.' 'Dude, I am so stoked to win this Nobel Prize. I just wanna thank Kevin, and Turtle, and all my homies.'