Adam Carolla Quotes
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I think we're getting to the point where everyone's getting fat and everyone's getting allergic, or claims to be allergic to something and people can't walk from their front door to their car without a bottle of water in their hand because they have to hydrate every three and half steps.
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If you're conservative in Hollywood, you're on a list of people who need to be put in their place.
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Rich people don't pay taxes? Of course they pay taxes - they pay tons in taxes. They pay for everyone else who doesn't pay taxes.
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I could definitely see myself making a serious movie or a drama in the future.
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It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.
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When I say things that sound insane, like only the smartest million people should have the right to vote, well, I mean that.
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I don't normally vote. I'm lazy and I never bought into the 'Every vote counts.'
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If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.
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You don't realize how much you use your credit card not even to buy things. It's a card you get so you can navigate society.
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I think comedy has evolved like every art form, and people probably do less standing around and telling jokes, and more things that have to do with reality.
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Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.
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I'm a sort of nuts-and-bolts guy. I'm into turning wrenches and swinging a hammer and wrenching on cars.
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The main thing that I learned from my horrible job experiences was how horrible they were.
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Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.
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I'm not a Republican.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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Well, the post office is probably not the place you want to go if you want to be infused with patriotism and a renewed sense of vigor.
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When you have kids, you instantly feel that you do not want to do them wrong. Those dads that go off to Florida and start a new life, I couldn't imagine that: seeing my kid once every Christmas, every three years. If I'm gone for six days it feels like too much.
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The reason I hate publicists is because I think if we got rid of them everything would be on equal footing.
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I get depressed at airports.
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My first car was a motorcycle.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.
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If women built the bridges or were meant to build the bridges, then they would have done it.