Adam Carolla Quotes
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I'd never hurt another person.
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I guess my feeling is is that if you're going to make a joke, that's fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you're trying to make.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money... and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn't very good at it.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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If the media isn't slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
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I'm a comedian, not a politician.
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The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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I've never really broken this down before, but, in movies, you almost have no connection to fans. And if you do TV, you're kind of connected, but they know you as the TV name not your real name. If you do radio, there's more of a bond there. And then if you do a podcast it's like you're literally inside of your fans.
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I don't know anything about computers.
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I don't know that I appreciate things more because of how I grew up, but I am very realistic with what I expect out of people and what they expect out of me.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.
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I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.
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I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.
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When you're doing a radio show, you can express yourself.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.'