Adam Carolla Quotes
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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There are certain things women are better at than men.
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If you've driven over to the gay section of Los Angeles, it's like a golf course... Real estate values go 'boom!'
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I'm a comedian, not a politician.
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I want to work for myself, and I do work for myself. I make plenty of money working for myself.
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The thing about a good podcast is you have to have a good host. If you don't have a compelling host then you have nothing.
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The very definition of 'beauty' is outside.
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I swear my car won't run unless I'm picking my nose: At least, I'm that superstitious about it, so I don't want to take any chances.
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I don't know anything about computers.
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I like my parents but they are just not good parents. They are nice enough people. I'm not interested in hurting their feelings.
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I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.
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If the media isn't slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?
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I've always boxed, I always taught boxing.
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I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.
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I am not a good cue card reader.
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I've never really broken this down before, but, in movies, you almost have no connection to fans. And if you do TV, you're kind of connected, but they know you as the TV name not your real name. If you do radio, there's more of a bond there. And then if you do a podcast it's like you're literally inside of your fans.
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I like radio and live performing stuff. I don't like the television stuff as much.
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I have feelings that are to the right, and I have feelings that land on the left side of the aisle. The thing is if you have 10 views that land you on the left side of the aisle and two views that land you on the right side of the aisle, then people just put you on the right side of the aisle. I'm not sure why.
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I'm not sexist, I'm just a realist.
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I don't know that I appreciate things more because of how I grew up, but I am very realistic with what I expect out of people and what they expect out of me.
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The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.'
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I used to be a Democrat, now I'm basically a Republican.
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Well, guys are better at mechanical stuff and women are better at emotional stuff.
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When you're picking a basketball team, you'll take the brother over the guy with the yarmulke. Why? Because you're playing the odds.