Adam Carolla Quotes
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If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?
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A lot of guys and people in our society think that chicks just love dudes with money. Chicks love dudes who are successful who happen to have money - do you know what I mean? Chicks are attracted to dudes that are doing their own thing.
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I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.
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I think we're getting to the point where everyone's getting fat and everyone's getting allergic, or claims to be allergic to something and people can't walk from their front door to their car without a bottle of water in their hand because they have to hydrate every three and half steps.
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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.
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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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I was a horrible student.
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You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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I guess my feeling is is that if you're going to make a joke, that's fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you're trying to make.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.
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I'd never hurt another person.
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I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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I don't have anything against my mom, but my family has no emotional connection to each other.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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I've got a great eye for color. I'm like a chick.
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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money... and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn't very good at it.