Adam Carolla Quotes
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If in 1989 I said, 'I have an idea: Bottle water and sell it. And charge more than a beer,' they would have chased me around with a giant butterfly net. The same with paying to watch a television station.
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No, I had not read any other comedian's book. Not that I don't enjoy other comedians; I'm just not a reader.
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Millions of guys play millions of basketball games every day of the week at the playground or the YMCA. But LeBron James gets $20 million a year because he can jam on all of those guys. We're always going to want to see LeBron and Kobe go at it.
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I don't burn any calories trying to be masculine; I just happen to be from that world.
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I'd never hurt another person.
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People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'
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I'm not comically oriented. I get angry and I start complaining and then people start laughing. I don't even want them to laugh half the time.
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I don't have any ill will or ill thought towards anybody.
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Everyone in Hollywood thinks like a Republican fiscally by leaving town to shoot everything; they just don't vote that way.
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I think people have a strong desire to push me and others into some sort of political box that they can wrap their minds around.
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I think we're getting to the point where everyone's getting fat and everyone's getting allergic, or claims to be allergic to something and people can't walk from their front door to their car without a bottle of water in their hand because they have to hydrate every three and half steps.
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All's the government should do is keep the taxes and regulations at a manageable rate, keep a decent standing army and get out of the way.
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In my early 20s I was so miserable doing construction, I wanted something that paid money. I liked nice stuff. I liked cars and architecture, and things that cost money. I wanted to not swing a hammer, and make money... and not do stuff that was dirty. I attempted to get into comedy. I started to do stand-up, but I wasn't very good at it.
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I guess my feeling is is that if you're going to make a joke, that's fine, but you should also sort of stand behind it, you know? A joke should be more than a joke, it should be a point that you're trying to make.
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I cook a little bit. I make a Hungarian dish called chicken paprikash that's out of this world. I'll give a heads-up to all of your readers that it doesn't have to be between Thai and Mexican every night. Toss some Hungarian in every once in a while. You will not be sorry. Good, solid peasant food.
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I don't think healthcare's a right. The only right you have is the ability to go out on an even playing field and work, and then purchase health insurance, or whatever it is.
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You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.
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I was a horrible student.
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I think if you create something and you get an audience for it, then the monetization part is really secondary.
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I don't think I've ever seen pie advertised. That's how you know it's good. They advertise ice cream and other desserts. They advertise the bejeezus out of yogurt, but I haven't seen one pie commercial.
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I'm a doofus from the Valley, a blue-collar guy.
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You should feel good about yourself because of your accomplishments. Not because somebody yelled at you to feel good about yourself.
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I'm like John Q. Public. I represent what every guy wants and needs.
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I didn't have any success in show business until I was 30 to 31 years of age.