Demetri Martin Quotes
My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.

Quotes to Explore
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When I was maybe 22, 23 years old or so, I was sort of floating in between New Japan, Ring of Honor, TNA - not really committed to one place.
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When think about the Frank Oceans of the world, it's not like we don't have gay men within the hip-hop community.
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In the Gulf War, U.S. Marine Corps wheeled vehicles were killing Iraqi T-72 tanks.
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We are two brothers: I am a doctor; my brother is an engineer.
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I would never date a celebrity. I would want someone with real skills. Doctor, nurse, electrician... tailor.
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After spending three years of my life looking into this, I am more convinced than ever that the U.S. government's responsibility for the drug problems in South Central Los Angeles and other inner cities is greater than I ever wrote in the newspaper.
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I would love to see as many of the black players as possible in today's Major League Baseball make every effort to go to the Negro Leagues Museum and get a first-hand view of how it all started.
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There has to be a global mission of human progress.
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The power of Twitter still never ceases to amaze me.
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Raquel Welch is someone I can also live without. We've got some love scenes together and I am dreading them!
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I don't care about revenues.
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Be peaceful, be courteous, obey the law, respect everyone; but if someone puts his hand on you, send him to the cemetery.
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Actually, I majored in marketing and I have a bachelor of science.
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It's taken me time to find my feet in L.A.
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Donald Trump did denounce David Duke's support.
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A revolution is a struggle to the death between the future and the past.
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I don't think Christ becomes real to us until we hit a low point in our lives and realize just how much we need Him. That's why faith affects every area of your life.
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Every character I approach, from 'Forrest Gump' all the way up to 'The Spoils Before Dying,' has a different set of requirements and always fascinates me.
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The first thing I did was give up sweet tea because I drank so much. I'd start drinking at lunchtime and wouldn't set it down until I went to bed. When you calculate how much empty calories and how much sugar I was consuming, it was staggering. So I haven't had a glass of sweet tea in three years.
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When you are lonely, writing can keep you company. It is a form of self-compensation, a way of making up for things-as opposed to making things up-that did not quite happen. (p.11).
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I love living in the country, so much so that I'm even surprised by it. I have met lots of interesting people - the community was really welcoming, and I now probably have a more interesting social life than I did in the city.
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I don't feel I'm qualified to be a coach outside the high school level. I think I would need to do more education to really be a good coach.
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Women seem not to understand, or underestimate, the profound power they have over their husbands.
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My plumbing is all screwed up. Because it turns out, I do not own a garbage disposal.