Dennis Miller Quotes

'What would Jesus drive?' I don't know about you, but I always picture my God having a driver. Well, Jesus would naturally have an SUV, cause He always had those twelve idiots hanging around, making Him change shit into food every four and a half minutes. 'See the cigarette? It's a fish. Leave me alone.'

Dennis Miller

• God
• Food
• Alone
• Jesus
• Picture

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Quotes to Explore

• Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it.

  

  Lao Tzu
  • Water
  • Nothing
  • Flexible

• The same liberty that protects me also protects members of the Mafia.

  

  Barbara Amiel
  • Me
  • Liberty
  • Members

• I moved about 45 minutes from West Hollywood, and I live surrounded by nature and the wilderness, but I constantly find myself walking around, like in the commercial, saying, 'Can you hear me now?'

  

  Olga Fonda
  • Live
  • Nature
  • Myself

• In a way, I'm lucky that I was never classically trained and never went to a music college. I'm just from a normal working class family and happened to get obsessed with music as a teenager.

  

  Imelda May
  • Music
  • Family
  • College

• Hispanic unemployment is higher than the national average and when the federal government is killing small businesses and killing jobs it is hurting the future of the Hispanic community and we need to carry that message.

  

  Ted Cruz
  • Future
  • Small
  • Community

• Without my Johnson trademark mop of yellow hair, I think I would be nothing.

  

  Rachel Johnson
  • Think
  • Hair
  • Yellow

• You know, one of the only times I ever wrote about art was the obituary of Warhol that I did for the Village Voice.

  

  Barbara Kruger
  • Art
  • Know
  • Voice

• When I'm on vacation here in the States, I can do all kinds of stuff; I can train and keep busy.

  

  Vince McMahon
  • Vacation
  • Train
  • Busy

• For many people who are so lost in their minds, so much involved in their thought processes, the only moments they have when they are not trapped in that is when they are relating to their animal, their pet.

  

  Eckhart Tolle
  • People
  • Lost
  • Moments

• Even Colin Powell who was everywhere before he became secretary of state, just stopped going out. I think part of it was he didn't want to be viewed suspiciously by the other people in the White House who rarely go anywhere.

  

  Sally Quinn
  • People
  • Think
  • Want

• I theorize that there is a spectrum of consciousness available to human beings. At one end is material consciousness. At the other end is what we call 'field' consciousness, where a person is at one with the universe, perceiving the universe. Just by looking at our planet on the way back, I saw or felt a field consciousness state.

  

  Edgar Mitchell
  • Universe
  • End
  • Looking

• If we lose sight of the fact that writing is entertainment, then writing is doomed.

  

  T. C. Boyle
  • Writing
  • Lose
  • Sight

• You have to turn the noise off a little bit. Fortunately, I'm not really on social media. I've been able to live in a bit of a black hole.

  

  Rachel McAdams
  • Live
  • Black
  • Social Media

• When online business first appeared, a lot of operations would take your order and then disappear.

  

  Maelle Gavet
  • Business
  • First
  • Disappear

• The trouble with music appreciation in general is that people are taught to have too much respect for music they should be taught to love it instead.

  

  Igor Stravinsky
  • People
  • Music
  • Respect

• The funny thing is that Dick Cheney has done more than anybody in the White House for quite a long time to throw up roadblocks against future historians.

  

  Barton Gellman
  • Up
  • Time
  • Long

• Probably millions of Americans got up this morning with a cup of coffee, a cigarette and a donut. No wonder they are sick and fouled up.

  

  Jack LaLanne
  • Up
  • Morning
  • Wonder

• What is fetus farming? Simply put, it is the creation and development of a human fetus for the purposes of later killing it for research or for harvesting its organs.

  

  Nathan Deal
  • Creation
  • Research
  • Farming

• I feel like you learn how to do school in second grade through fifth grade. During those years, I was never home.

  

  Dakota Johnson
  • School
  • Home
  • Learn

• You thought the stage, you thought Broadway: that was the pot at the end of the rainbow. The idea of being in Hollywood was like going to the Moon or Mars.

  

  Peter Falk
  • Moon
  • Rainbow

• Some persons, instead of making a religion for their God, are content to make a god of their religion.

  

  Arthur Helps
  • God

• I work with a team of coaches and trainers to make me feel like I am not alone out on the ice.

  

  Kaetlyn Osmond
  • Work
  • Team
  • Alone

• Oh my God! I was always wondering what it would be like to run over a dried up, stinky, dick licker.

  

  David Spade
  • Up
  • God

• 'What would Jesus drive?' I don't know about you, but I always picture my God having a driver. Well, Jesus would naturally have an SUV, cause He always had those twelve idiots hanging around, making Him change shit into food every four and a half minutes. 'See the cigarette? It's a fish. Leave me alone.'

  

  Dennis Miller
  • God
  • Food
  • Alone