Dennis Miller Quotes

'What would Jesus drive?' I don't know about you, but I always picture my God having a driver. Well, Jesus would naturally have an SUV, cause He always had those twelve idiots hanging around, making Him change shit into food every four and a half minutes. 'See the cigarette? It's a fish. Leave me alone.'

Dennis Miller

• God
• Food
• Alone
• Jesus
• Picture

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Quotes to Explore

• Nothing is softer or more flexible than water, yet nothing can resist it.

  

  Lao Tzu
  • Water
  • Nothing
  • Flexible

• The same liberty that protects me also protects members of the Mafia.

  

  Barbara Amiel
  • Me
  • Liberty
  • Members

• I moved about 45 minutes from West Hollywood, and I live surrounded by nature and the wilderness, but I constantly find myself walking around, like in the commercial, saying, 'Can you hear me now?'

  

  Olga Fonda
  • Live
  • Nature
  • Myself

• In a way, I'm lucky that I was never classically trained and never went to a music college. I'm just from a normal working class family and happened to get obsessed with music as a teenager.

  

  Imelda May
  • Music
  • Family
  • College

• Hispanic unemployment is higher than the national average and when the federal government is killing small businesses and killing jobs it is hurting the future of the Hispanic community and we need to carry that message.

  

  Ted Cruz
  • Future
  • Small
  • Community

• Without my Johnson trademark mop of yellow hair, I think I would be nothing.

  

  Rachel Johnson
  • Think
  • Hair
  • Yellow

• You know, one of the only times I ever wrote about art was the obituary of Warhol that I did for the Village Voice.

  

  Barbara Kruger
  • Art
  • Know
  • Voice

• When I'm on vacation here in the States, I can do all kinds of stuff; I can train and keep busy.

  

  Vince McMahon
  • Vacation
  • Train
  • Busy

• For many people who are so lost in their minds, so much involved in their thought processes, the only moments they have when they are not trapped in that is when they are relating to their animal, their pet.

  

  Eckhart Tolle
  • People
  • Lost
  • Moments

• Even Colin Powell who was everywhere before he became secretary of state, just stopped going out. I think part of it was he didn't want to be viewed suspiciously by the other people in the White House who rarely go anywhere.

  

  Sally Quinn
  • People
  • Think
  • Want

• I theorize that there is a spectrum of consciousness available to human beings. At one end is material consciousness. At the other end is what we call 'field' consciousness, where a person is at one with the universe, perceiving the universe. Just by looking at our planet on the way back, I saw or felt a field consciousness state.

  

  Edgar Mitchell
  • Universe
  • End
  • Looking

• If we lose sight of the fact that writing is entertainment, then writing is doomed.

  

  T. C. Boyle
  • Writing
  • Lose
  • Sight

• You have to turn the noise off a little bit. Fortunately, I'm not really on social media. I've been able to live in a bit of a black hole.

  

  Rachel McAdams
  • Live
  • Black
  • Social Media

• I want my legacy to be about the soccer, and if I can help people be happier in life in any capacity, awesome.

  

  Abby Wambach
  • People
  • Life
  • Help

• When online business first appeared, a lot of operations would take your order and then disappear.

  

  Maelle Gavet
  • Business
  • First
  • Disappear

• The trouble with music appreciation in general is that people are taught to have too much respect for music they should be taught to love it instead.

  

  Igor Stravinsky
  • People
  • Music
  • Respect

• The funny thing is that Dick Cheney has done more than anybody in the White House for quite a long time to throw up roadblocks against future historians.

  

  Barton Gellman
  • Up
  • Time
  • Long

• Probably millions of Americans got up this morning with a cup of coffee, a cigarette and a donut. No wonder they are sick and fouled up.

  

  Jack LaLanne
  • Up
  • Morning
  • Wonder

• Moving to the US was quite a transition for me, to say the least! There were, and still are so many new things to get used to: the language, food, culture, even the style of basketball is different here!

  

  Yao Ming
  • Different
  • Culture
  • Food

• We can open our hearts to God, but only with Divine help.

  

  Thomas Aquinas
  • God
  • Help
  • Hearts

• I'm not complaining about my life; every moment of it has been fantastic, and I'm so lucky.

  

  Zoe Cassavetes
  • Life
  • Moment
  • My Life

• The real issue behind these people who are gun grabbers, the truth is - based on fact - the reason why is, they want control. They want control of the people. That's what socialism is and communism.

  

  Luke Scott
  • People
  • Real
  • Why

• 'What would Jesus drive?' I don't know about you, but I always picture my God having a driver. Well, Jesus would naturally have an SUV, cause He always had those twelve idiots hanging around, making Him change shit into food every four and a half minutes. 'See the cigarette? It's a fish. Leave me alone.'

  

  Dennis Miller
  • God
  • Food
  • Alone