Dennis Miller Quotes
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I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years.
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Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
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Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels.
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Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.
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America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
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A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
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The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.
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You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize that out of the 3 R's only one begins with an R.