Dennis Miller Quotes
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Joan Rivers telling Lauren Bacall her dress is all wrong is like Carrot Top telling Lenny Bruce he needs to get an edge.
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Police in Washington D.C. are now using cameras to catch drivers who go through red lights. Many congressmen this week opposed the use of the red light cameras incorrectly assuming they were being used for surveillance at local brothels.
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Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
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Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.
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America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.
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If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem.
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A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
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Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.