Dennis Miller Quotes
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You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.
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I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years.
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I want to help the helpless, but I don't want to help the clueless.
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If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem.
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Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
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A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
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Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.
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Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.