Dennis Miller Quotes
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I had fun pretending to be a sportscaster. People always think that was a down thing for me. I had the best job in sports broadcasting for two years.
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I want to help the helpless, but I don't want to help the clueless.
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If Clinton had only attacked terrorism as much as he attacks George Bush we wouldn't be in this problem.
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Parenting is the most important job on the planet next to keeping Gary Busey off the nation's highways.
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Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
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Liberals should not overplay this weapons of mass destruction card, because you want me to tell you the truth? Most of us are not going to care if they don't find these weapons of mass destruction. It's enough for a lot of us to see those kids smiling on that street again.
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The only way the French are going in is if we tell them we found truffles in Iraq.
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America may be the best country in the world, but that's kind of like being the valedictorian of summer school.