Bob Saget Quotes
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People ask me what my favorite episode of Full House is; it was the last one!
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I had enough therapy to know when I broke it down, it became clearer to me: Yes, comedy was kind of a cleansing thing for me to do.
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The whole thing for me is that I did 'Full House' and 'America's Funniest Home Videos,' and I look like a dentist, and I'm a dad. Being known as a dirty comedian turned into this weird thing. It's people's image of me.
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The nature of comedy is 'just do it.' But I think what's interesting about it is this joke has been around and why. And it's just saying what's wrong and how wrong can you be if you say it.
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I really love standup because it's something that I've been literally doing for 40 years, which means I'm a thousand years old.
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Celebrity is a word that I find offensive. That's the c-word. I hate it. It means no discernible talent. It means all you want is to be famous. It doesn't mean you're a writer, an actor, a mime. I think I wanna not be a celebrity.
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I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they're going to see it, especially her guy friends.
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Soon, I'm going to meet somebody around my own age, and she's going to be smart and beautiful, and I'm going to date her daughter.
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I become a chameleon for wherever I am.
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Kids, do not fuck that shit; you'll get an infection.
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I've banged half the girls in this room, and that is fuckin' not true. I haven't banged anyone here. I've put my pinky in your butts, couple of you.
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I don't censor myself, but I don't want to force my sick-skewed version of the world, either.