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An income tax form is like a laundry list - either way you lose your shirt.
Fred Allen -
A celebrity is a person who works hard all of their life to become well known, and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognized.
Fred Allen
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I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.
Fred Allen -
The vice-president of an advertising agency is a bit of executive fungus that forms on a desk that has been exposed to conference.
Fred Allen -
Radio is a bag of mediocrity where little men with carbon minds wallow in sluice of their own making.
Fred Allen -
Treat employees like partners, and they act like partners.
Fred Allen