Mallory Ortberg Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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In some Old Testament books, it's very evident that an editor has been at work. That's quite all right. It's part of the process.
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I have been surfing since I was six years old.
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Among the lesser effects of quantum theory are gaping holes in old ideas about causality.
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One often learns more from ten days of agony than from ten years of contentment.
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When I was 12 years old, I got interested in learning English.
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'I can't get no satisfaction,' in political terms, has haunted Hungarian politics for 20 years.
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It takes 20 years to make an overnight success.
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There's a reason you can still read Thucydides, and it still makes sense to you thousands of years later.
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Lebanese mezze, Cantonese dim sum and Basque pinchos have all evolved over years and are designed to make sense together.
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I tried for years to get an agent because I was told you needed an agent. The agent-hunting process was grim indeed.
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My mom started working at the California Shakespeare Theater in Oakland when I was two years old, so I've always grown up around theater.
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I have a lot of vinyl, but I only buy old records on vinyl. Like secondhand. It's too expensive otherwise.
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I have a whole closet in my house that's dedicated just to jackets and coats, stuff that I've collected over the years.
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I went with Lionel Hampton for three years. Out of that came a trip to Europe.
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After 20 years, a million written words, and nine rejected novels, I finally landed a book contract.
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I still have my old Nintendo 64 that works. And I hook it up, and I still play the original 'Goldeneye.' I'm that geek. I have an 'NBA Jam' arcade machine in my office at 'SNL.'
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I haven't been drinking for years now. Something's got to give. I don't mind that I'm a guy that's stopped drinking, though this interview is making me mighty thirsty.
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Shockingly, the Bidens donated under $1,000 to all charities combined every year for the ten years prior to 2008.
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Football has been everything to me since I was 10 years old.
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The most often repeated commandment in the Bible is 'Do not fear.' It's in there over two hundred times. That means a couple of things, if you think about it. It means we are going to be afraid, and it means we shouldn't let fear boss us around. Before I realized we were supposed to fight fear, I thought of fear as a subtle suggestion in our subconscious designed to keep us safe, or more important, keep us from getting humiliated. And I guess it serves that purpose. But fear isn't only a guide to keep us safe; it's also a manipulative emotion that can trick us into living a boring life.
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I'll never sell 14 million like Hammer, I just wanna do a good Ice-T show.
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I love to deliver orgasms to the masses!
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When I was twenty years old, I had gum grafts put in.
