Mallory Ortberg Quotes
Quotes to Explore
-
In some Old Testament books, it's very evident that an editor has been at work. That's quite all right. It's part of the process.
-
I have been surfing since I was six years old.
-
Among the lesser effects of quantum theory are gaping holes in old ideas about causality.
-
One often learns more from ten days of agony than from ten years of contentment.
-
When I was 12 years old, I got interested in learning English.
-
'I can't get no satisfaction,' in political terms, has haunted Hungarian politics for 20 years.
-
It takes 20 years to make an overnight success.
-
There's a reason you can still read Thucydides, and it still makes sense to you thousands of years later.
-
Lebanese mezze, Cantonese dim sum and Basque pinchos have all evolved over years and are designed to make sense together.
-
I tried for years to get an agent because I was told you needed an agent. The agent-hunting process was grim indeed.
-
My mom started working at the California Shakespeare Theater in Oakland when I was two years old, so I've always grown up around theater.
-
I have a lot of vinyl, but I only buy old records on vinyl. Like secondhand. It's too expensive otherwise.
-
I have a whole closet in my house that's dedicated just to jackets and coats, stuff that I've collected over the years.
-
I went with Lionel Hampton for three years. Out of that came a trip to Europe.
-
After 20 years, a million written words, and nine rejected novels, I finally landed a book contract.
-
I still have my old Nintendo 64 that works. And I hook it up, and I still play the original 'Goldeneye.' I'm that geek. I have an 'NBA Jam' arcade machine in my office at 'SNL.'
-
I haven't been drinking for years now. Something's got to give. I don't mind that I'm a guy that's stopped drinking, though this interview is making me mighty thirsty.
-
Shockingly, the Bidens donated under $1,000 to all charities combined every year for the ten years prior to 2008.
-
I will sign a universal health-care bill into law by the end of my first term as president that will cover every American and cut the cost of a typical family’s premium by up to $2,500 a year.
-
If you meet a girl, you meet a girl. It's normal, so if you exchange numbers, whatevs, it's cool.
-
Religion provides the only story that is fundamentally consoling in the face of the worst possible experiences - the death of a parent, for instance. In fact, many religions take away the problem entirely, because their adherents ostensibly believe that they're going to be reunited with everyone they love, and death is an illusion.
-
With homosexual marriage gaining converts among the young, the party of the Moral Majority declines to stand with Chick-fil-A.
-
I used to believe having a good memory meant being able to remember everything in perfect detail. Now I believe having a good memory means being able to selectively forget. It's not what I'll remember, it's what I'll forget that matters.
-
When I was twenty years old, I had gum grafts put in.
