Mallory Ortberg Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I came up from growing up with a lot of Catholic guilt, a lot of punk rock, hipster guilt in the later years where I think people have thrown a lot of things on me. Where I always felt like I'm not supposed to tell the horn section what to play or I don't want to come off egotistical.
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I like sitting close to windows.
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I have absolutely no regret about my vote against this war. The same questions remain. The cost in human lives, the cost to our budget, probably 100 billion. We could have probably brought down that statue for a lot less.
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I'm very proud of my Nigerian heritage. I wasn't fortunate enough to be raised in a heavy Nigerian environment, because my parents were always working. My father was with D.C. Cabs and my mother worked in fast food and was a nurse.
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Dark chocolate, and salt and vinegar chips are my weakness - but not together.
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I have never found out that there was in my family an artist or anyone interested in the arts or sciences, and I have never been sufficiently interested in my 'family tree' to bother. My father and mother had come to America on one of those great waves of immigration that followed persecution and pogroms in Czarist Russia and Poland.
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My dream date is a tall, dark, handsome, blue eyed man with a bubble butt who will whisk me away to Paris in a hot air balloon to wine me, dine me and.
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I came to acting in a very circuitous way.
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Passive fatalism can never be the role of a revolutionary party, like the Social Democracy.
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Right now I'm so old that if I had a big gush of money, I don't know what I'd do with it. I don't travel anymore. I don't need anything, don't want anything. I'd give it to my son, I guess, and let him enjoy it.
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You have two alternatives. One: you can put your life on hold and wait for the phone to ring. Two: you run ahead as if your life depended on it.
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I have seen life from the top down and the bottom up. I know how it looks both ways. And I know there is wisdom and that there is hope.
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For me personally, I try to use my size to my advantage where I can either slip by guys or try to create more space for myself.
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I don't know what I was expecting or what I was dreaming about the xx accomplishing.
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No one has ever raised capital because their pitch deck was pretty. A lot of people have raised capital because they were over-prepared, knew where their business was going, and were able to articulate that through a pitch alongside a pitch deck.
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Every real thought on every real subject knocks the wind out of somebody or other.
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I'm not about my breasts; I'm just about good health, OK. I'm not afraid of doing what I need to do to stay here. I really don't understand women who are in denial, who don't want to go for a mammogram. I think it's stupidity. Sorry. I have no patience for that.
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I write to please me, and I've been very lucky. It's like playing baseball. You just keep swinging, and eventually you get a hit.
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Just as there is a wage gap between men and women in the workplace, there is a 'leisure gap' between them at home. Most women work one shift in the office or factory and a 'second shift' at home.
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Many years ago... many, many years ago, I brought up a boy, and I said to him, 'Son, if you ever become a writer, try to write a good part for your old man sometime.' Well, by cracky, that's what he did!
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If you care about yourself and what you do, you get nervous about it. You just don't take the money and go home.
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I enjoy ritual and ceremony. What I don't like is when it's badly done or sloppily done. This is actually a theological issue - the forms we adopt, the actions we take, the way we do things, are, as it were, a sacrament.
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I sometimes think God is a s-t - and he wouldn't be worth it otherwise. He's much more interesting when he's a s-t.
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I grew up in a home where reading was a big deal.
