Frank Muir Quotes

United Kingdom, Writer
February 5, 1920 – January, 2, 1998.

Frank Herbert Muir CBE (5 February 1920 – 2 January 1998) was an English comedy writer, radio and television personality, and raconteur. His writing and performing partnership with Denis Norden endured for most of their careers. Together they wrote BBC Radio's Take It From Here for over 10 years, and then appeared on BBC radio quizzes My Word! and My Music for another 35. Muir became Assistant Head of Light Entertainment at the BBC in the 1960s, and was then London Weekend Television's founding Head of Entertainment. His many writing credits include editorship of The Oxford Book of Humorous Prose.

Also known as Radio Personality, Television Personality

It has been said that a bride's attitude towards her betrothed can be summed up in three words: Aisle. Alter. Hymn.

Frank Muir
- Words
- Alter
- Aisle
Most of our sales are domestic. However, we are trying to expand our export business and have been very successful the last three years.

Frank Muir
- Sales
- Domestic
- Expand

A golf ball is white, dimpled like a bishop's knees, and is the size of small mandarin oranges or those huge pills which vets blow down the throats of constipated cart-horses.

Frank Muir
- Golf
- White
- Ball
It's becoming more and more the choice to feed starving countries.

Frank Muir
- Choice
- Countries
- Feed
The glances over cocktails That seem to be so sweet Don't seem quite so amorous Over Shredded Wheat.

Frank Muir
Strategy is buying a bottle of fine wine when you take a lady out for dinner. Tactics is getting her to drink it.

Frank Muir
- Wine
Wouldn't it be ironic that the very year the World Potato Congress is bringing all these international visitors, we take famous potatoes off our plates?

Frank Muir
The golden rule when reading the menu is, if you cannot pronounce it, you cannot afford it.

Frank Muir
- Rule
- Pronounce
- Menu

There will always be critics of the potato because it is lowly and humble, ... But it still represents $2 billion of revenue a year in the state of Idaho -- and thousands of jobs.

Frank Muir
- Humble
- Critics
- Potato
Hotel tea is when you have to mix together a plastic envelope containing too much sugar, a small plastic pot of something which is not milk but has curdled anyway, and a thin brown packet seemingly containing the ashes of a cremated mole.

Frank Muir
- Tea
- Hotel
- Plastic
In other states, they're passionate; they're not embarrassed by their agricultural roots.

Frank Muir
The speeches to be wary of are those that begin with I'm just going to say a few words.

Frank Muir
- Speeches
- Few Words
Wit is a weapon. Jokes are a masculine way of inflicting superiority. But humor is the pursuit of a gentle grin, usually in solitude.

Frank Muir
- Solitude
Some breakfast food manufacturer hit upon the simple notion of emptying out the leavings of carthorse nose bags, adding a few other things like unconsumed portions of chicken layer's mash, and the sweepings of racing stables, packing the mixture in little bags and selling them in health food shops.

Frank Muir