Jeff Dunham Quotes

I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup comic, it is my job to make sure the majority of people laugh, and I believe that comedy is the last true form of free speech.

Jeff Dunham

• People
• Believe
• Job
• True
• Free
• Comedy
• Wife

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Quotes to Explore

• I have never been given to envy - save for the envy I feel toward those people who have the ability to make a marriage work and endure happily.

  

  J. Paul Getty
  • People
  • Work
  • Marriage

• If I could distil the relevance of Bruce Springsteen's music to Australia it would be this: don't let what has happened to the American economy happen here. Don't let Australia become a down-under version of New Jersey, where the people and the communities whose skills are no longer in demand get thrown on the scrap heap of life.

  

  Wayne Swan
  • People
  • Life
  • Music

• I'm always trying to do the impossible to please people. It comes from not being secure in myself and not looking at the things within I have to fix. Sometimes you keep going because you don't want to face the truth.

  

  Naomi Campbell
  • People
  • Trying
  • Truth

• The reason I don't carry a mobile phone is I don't want people to know where I am!

  

  Felix Dennis
  • People
  • Mobile Phones

• The car provided Americans with an enviable standard of living. You could not get a steady job with high wages and health and retirement benefits working on the General Livestock Corporation assembly line putting udders on cows.

  

  P. J. O'Rourke
  • Job
  • High
  • Health

• AIDS is a horrible disease, and the people who catch it deserve compassion.

  

  Sam Kinison
  • People
  • Compassion
  • Deserve

• I have breakups that I can credit to every song. In my twenties, I picked people who would create that dysfunction and drama, so I could draw upon it.

  

  Kara DioGuardi
  • People
  • Song
  • Drama

• Well, every time I get ready to do a job I want to lose weight.

  

  Fran Drescher
  • Time
  • Job
  • Want

• Right now, I'm known for making movies. And I wonder if that's it. I don't know. It doesn't feel like it to me.

  

  Dakota Johnson
  • Know
  • Me
  • Movies

• If the word has the potency to revive and make us free, it has also the power to blind, imprison, and destroy.

  

  Ralph Ellison
  • Power
  • Free
  • Blind

• I believe that it is better to tell the truth than a lie. I believe it is better to be free than to be a slave. And I believe it is better to know than to be ignorant.

  

  H. L. Mencken
  • Believe
  • Truth
  • Free

• There are things that people say that hurt my feelings or whatever, especially with social media right now. It can be the most amazing thing, and it can also be the most negative and detrimental thing.

  

  Zendaya
  • People
  • Amazing
  • Hurt

• I really hate bureaucracy and the idea that I'm not a free person.

  

  Paloma Faith
  • Free
  • Hate
  • Idea

• Have I done more business-related things to help my career grow? Yeah. I took the business end more seriously, hooked up with a manager, got some help, because at a certain point, you get frustrated when you go do auditions, and people say you did a great job, and then you don't get he part.

  

  Gary Sinise
  • People
  • Up
  • Great

• We are not yet a society free of sexism, and this will continue to be an issue for all women candidates.

  

  Brown Campbell
  • Women
  • Society
  • Free

• In most cases, the news is not really news. But in some cases, discoveries are made and should be listened to.

  

  Dan Shechtman
  • Should
  • Made
  • News

• History teaches us that unity is strength, and cautions us to submerge and overcome our differences in the quest for common goals, to strive, with all our combined strength, for the path to true African brotherhood and unity.

  

  Haile Selassie
  • History
  • True
  • Path

• I truly believe that everything Sci-fi taught me as a child about an efficient and wondrous world will be happening in my lifetime.

  

  Yves Behar
  • World
  • Believe
  • Child

• When I was a senior in high school, I worked at a theater where they hired New York actors. And they told me about 'Backstage,' and so I got my school in Pennsylvania to subscribe. And there was an audition for a tour of 'The Sound of Music,' and I got the job. Deferred my admission to college just to go on tour.

  

  Jonathan Groff
  • Music
  • School
  • Job

• Traditionally, when you talk to people who have Parkinson's or Alzheimer's, they'll talk about how they're in five or six studies, and they've been sequenced by each study. That's just fat in the system. Just have a single data set that then you can share. You can make the entire system more efficient.

  

  Anne Wojcicki
  • People
  • Single
  • Study

• I swim, go to the gym, and do a little dancing every day and a little singing.

  

  Dick Van Dyke
  • Singing
  • Gym

• More Americans are enjoying the freedom of independence from the chains of welfare

  

  William Reynolds Archer, Jr.
  • Independence
  • Welfare
  • Chains

• When I was born, the doctor looked at my mother and said, 'Congratulations, you have an actor!'

  

  Sally Field
  • Mother
  • Born
  • Doctor

• I've skewered whites, blacks, Hispanics, Christians, Jews, Muslims, gays, straights, rednecks, addicts, the elderly, and my wife. As a standup comic, it is my job to make sure the majority of people laugh, and I believe that comedy is the last true form of free speech.

  

  Jeff Dunham
  • People
  • Believe
  • Job