Jeff Dunham Quotes
The best place to find material is in real life. I've always maintained that it's not until the mid-20s that you have enough of a life to draw from. There's nothing better for a comic than to go through some bad stuff - and some good stuff, like getting married.

Quotes to Explore
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Let's judge a man on what he's done.
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There are minds so impatient of inferiority that their gratitude is a species of revenge, and they return benefits, not because recompense is a pleasure, but because obligation is a pain.
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Tone can be as important as text.
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It's not possible to be perfect - you can always do something better. I'm never proud of what I've done. Sometimes, I'm not ashamed.
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Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.
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I've got a theory that if you give 100% all of the time, somehow things will work out in the end.
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Our children and grandchildren are not going to have the same standard of living unless we educate that workforce.
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Buddhism has had a major effect on who I am and how I think about the world. What I have learned is that I like all religions, but only parts of them.
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I've shared the fate of many working mothers; I felt guilty like them.
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The family is very important. They make me feel good always because if I won, when I started to be famous, the relationship never changed with my friends and family.
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You have to really prove yourself to young people, and if your answer is clear and consistent and loving - even if it's angry and disappointed - what's important is that you're being real and honest and not going anywhere.
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We don't want to be treated any differently, and we want to continue with our lives and our careers.
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Over my career, I've had to do a lot of shows that involve stunts, and I so enjoy stunts.
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I'm involved in some action scenes, so they'll train me for that. I'll be working with my acting coach to prepare for my character.
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We read Robert Browning's poetry. Here we needed no guidance from the professor: the poems themselves were enough.
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I've been designing since I was 8. I started sketching dresses I could wear when skating. I was always involved in all aspects of skating, not just the technique, the choreography, the music, but the visual aspects, too - what I should wear.
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Excellence always sells.
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It's easy for me to get along with chess players. Even though we are all very different, we have chess in common.
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You know how you put peanut butter on a piece of bread and the bread falls - it never falls on the bread side down, it always falls peanut butter side down. That's because of gravity.
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And we can celebrate when we have a government that has earned back the trust of the people it serves... when we have a government that honors our Constitution and stands up for the values that have made America, America: economic freedom, individual liberty, and personal responsibility.
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In truth, the gold standard is already a barbarous relic. All of us, from the Governor of the Bank of England downwards, are now primarily interested in preserving the stability of business, prices, and employment, and are not likely, when the choice is forced on us, deliberately to sacrifice these to outworn dogma, which had its value once, of 3 pounds, 17 shill ings, 10 1/2 pence per ounce. Advocates of the ancient standard do not observe how remote it now is from the spirit and the requirements of the age. A regulated nonmetallic standard has slipped in unnoticed. It exists.
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It is the fear of death - 24/7 in every shade of hospital white and doomsday black--that sells the pharmaceutical, political, financial, film, and food product promising to make good the wish to live forever.
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I'm not materialistic. I love clothes and all that stuff, but I don't need it to live.
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The best place to find material is in real life. I've always maintained that it's not until the mid-20s that you have enough of a life to draw from. There's nothing better for a comic than to go through some bad stuff - and some good stuff, like getting married.