Jeff Dunham Quotes
It's amazing how these little guys can say things that a mortal human could never get away with. There's some sort of unspoken license... when outlandish things come out of an inanimate object, somehow it equals humor.

Quotes to Explore
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When I wrote 'Fight Song,' I was in a particular low point. I needed to remind myself to not give up, that I still believed in myself and that I still had fight left.
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There is no question that chemical weapons attacks are a heinous abuse of humanity and power. But to assume that military strikes are an effective retribution for the crime committed is wrong.
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It is the nature of all greatness not to be exact.
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I am a massive fan of early electronica like Steve Reich, Pat Metheny and Thomas Dolby. I used to be a big raver, too, so anything dance. I love ambient music like Tunng. I love acoustic and classical, too.
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I grew up being a dancer, so I was always doing some sort of dance number, like the Tornado in 'The Wiz.'
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Throughout my life I have always been amazed that people couldn't listen to other people, that they couldn't hear their best intent, that there seemed to be an enormous need to demonize.
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We believe in some basic human principles - everyone should have the opportunities not just to survive, but to excel with their God-given talents and abilities. Those are the values that should be reflected in our budgets.
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Smelling a crayon takes you right back to childhood. When I need to go back in time, I put it under my nose and take another hit.
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To take part in this brothel through the payment of my taxes, that had become to me unbearable.
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One of the exciting things about reporting is going to places you've never been to before.
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I always say you can never be extravagant with beauty. Beauty is God made real. Beauty is life.
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You have no ability, if you're a financial institution and you're threatened with criminal prosecution, you have no ability to negotiate.
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Ibiza is a popular vacation place for a lot of the players in Spain. If you go in the summer, there are some of the world's most famous movie and music stars, so nobody cares about soccer players.
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Black women as a group have never been fools. We couldn't afford to be.
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My fault, my failure, is not in the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them.
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Well first of all you have to make the character strong so that people can follow that. And then hopefully that character can integrate with the background of the social situation that people can recognize.
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I have a cat named Dandelion.
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I worked with Michael Black and Michael Showalter on their show 'Michael and Michael Have Issues.' We did some stuff on that, but it ended up not getting picked up for a second season. There will be more stuff, but not right now. Michael Showalter and I are literally next-door neighbors. We see quite a lot of each other.
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The next time you see an outside day with a down close lower than the previous day, don't get scared, get ready to buy!
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You cannot be lonely if you like the person you're alone with.
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It makes me feel so amazing to know there's people out here that support me and follow me on Twitter and watch my shows on YouTube and come to my concert, so I'm very thankful.
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I thought being on stage was an amazing feeling, but there is nothing that can top watching my wife bring our son into this world.
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It is the nature of all greatness not to be exact.
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It's amazing how these little guys can say things that a mortal human could never get away with. There's some sort of unspoken license... when outlandish things come out of an inanimate object, somehow it equals humor.