Jeff Garlin Quotes

I don't think I'm ever going to retire from stand-up, but what I have retired from is working the road every week.

Jeff Garlin

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Quotes to Explore

• Sometimes when I'm going to the supermarket to get the coffee and cat litter, I get freaked out and see all these people staring, and you turn around and there's, like, 40 people all looking at you... and when you go around the corner, they're all following you! You start freaking out like a trapped animal.

  

  Kate Bush
  • People
  • Animal
  • Coffee

• What novels do that biographies don't is get at truths by penetrating the facts, by going deeper to what's underneath fact, through invention.

  

  Varley O'Connor
  • Facts
  • Fact
  • Deeper

• In a family of all girls, I was always the 'boy' in my mind - the protector, the masculine one. No one would ever have to worry about me.

  

  Kate Christensen
  • Mind
  • Family
  • Worry

• Being American and being an outsider at the same time, it's a perspective I often bring to a character.

  

  Aasif Mandvi
  • Time
  • Character
  • American

• I never thought I'd be in a position where people would be talking about my sexuality and saying how good I look in underwear.

  

  Fiona Apple
  • People
  • Good
  • Thought

• Poverty is an anomaly to rich people; it is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell.

  

  Walter Bagehot
  • People
  • Why
  • Poverty

• The men and women of my generation are heirs to that great collective success which has been admired worldwide and of which we are so proud. It is now up to us to pass it on to the coming generations.

  

  Felipe VI of Spain
  • Up
  • Great
  • Men

• There are so many figures in our history that did not believe they could make a change, and they did.

  

  Malala Yousafzai
  • Believe
  • History
  • Change

• It's become a habit to make films where the father is absent. My father impresses me, but the father figure does not.

  

  Xavier Dolan
  • Father
  • Me
  • Habit

• You should always leave the party 10 minutes before you actually do.

  

  Gary Larson
  • Party
  • Always
  • Leave

• I love Dr. Hauschka's blue mascara. It's not so blue that it's like, 'What's wrong with you?' It's more like a secret that you're wearing it.

  

  Lake Bell
  • Like
  • Secret
  • Wrong

• The 'chinked out' style is a school of hip hop - that's the way I like to think of it - that incorporates Chinese elements and sounds.

  

  Wang Leehom
  • School
  • Think
  • Style

• The fact is, it's hard to release movies.

  

  Campbell Scott
  • Movies
  • Hard
  • Fact

• I don't prepare myself for a specific fighter. I don't choose a fight to prepare myself for another fighter.

  

  Canelo Alvarez
  • Myself
  • Fight
  • Prepare

• Mike Tyson was one of the fighters who motivated me. How? We both used to train at the Golden Gloves boxing gym. I used to see his Rolls-Royce, his diamond Rolex on, and I said, 'You know what? Those are the things that I want.'

  

  Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
  • Want
  • Train
  • Diamond

• I'm one of those fellows so frightened of driving that I go 80 miles an hour - and the more frightened I get, the faster I go.

  

  Orson Welles
  • Driving
  • More
  • Go

• L.A. is so big that if you don't actually live in Hollywood, you might as well be from a different planet.

  

  Quentin Tarantino
  • Different
  • Live
  • You

• Enthusiasm is the greatest asset you can possess, for it can take you further than money, power or influence.

  

  Dada Vaswani
  • Money
  • Power
  • Influence

• It's weird when people come up to me and know stuff about my life. That sort of creeps me out.

  

  Colleen Haskell
  • People
  • Life
  • Up

• Western countries allow no freedom of expression, which they claim to advocate, with regard to the myth of the massacre of Jews known as the holocaust, and nobody in the West enjoys the freedom of expression to deny it or raise doubts about it. But affronting the sanctities of about 1.5 billion Muslims is permissible in the West.

  

  Ali Khamenei
  • Freedom
  • Holocaust

• I feel sorry for people who have to edit me. Which is why book writing is by far the most enjoyable. Really the only thing it's based on is whether it's good or not. No book editor, in my experience, is getting a manuscript and trying to rewrite it.

  

  Chuck Klosterman
  • People
  • Good
  • Writing

• Again, one of the problems I have with television, as I mentioned before, is it's trivial in many ways, and I think that a lot of folks out there are looking for new metaphors and new ways of thinking about things.

  

  J. Michael Straczynski
  • Thinking
  • Think
  • Problems

• I tend to be a jam-band fan, and I love the Rolling Stones.

  

  Jessy Schram
  • Band

• I don't think I'm ever going to retire from stand-up, but what I have retired from is working the road every week.

  

  Jeff Garlin
  • Up
  • Road