Jeff Garlin Quotes

I don't think I'm ever going to retire from stand-up, but what I have retired from is working the road every week.

Jeff Garlin

• Up
• Road

• Previous
• Next

Quotes to Explore

• Sometimes when I'm going to the supermarket to get the coffee and cat litter, I get freaked out and see all these people staring, and you turn around and there's, like, 40 people all looking at you... and when you go around the corner, they're all following you! You start freaking out like a trapped animal.

  

  Kate Bush
  • People
  • Animal
  • Coffee

• What novels do that biographies don't is get at truths by penetrating the facts, by going deeper to what's underneath fact, through invention.

  

  Varley O'Connor
  • Facts
  • Fact
  • Deeper

• In a family of all girls, I was always the 'boy' in my mind - the protector, the masculine one. No one would ever have to worry about me.

  

  Kate Christensen
  • Mind
  • Family
  • Worry

• Being American and being an outsider at the same time, it's a perspective I often bring to a character.

  

  Aasif Mandvi
  • Time
  • Character
  • American

• I never thought I'd be in a position where people would be talking about my sexuality and saying how good I look in underwear.

  

  Fiona Apple
  • People
  • Good
  • Thought

• Poverty is an anomaly to rich people; it is very difficult to make out why people who want dinner do not ring the bell.

  

  Walter Bagehot
  • People
  • Why
  • Poverty

• The men and women of my generation are heirs to that great collective success which has been admired worldwide and of which we are so proud. It is now up to us to pass it on to the coming generations.

  

  Felipe VI of Spain
  • Up
  • Great
  • Men

• There are so many figures in our history that did not believe they could make a change, and they did.

  

  Malala Yousafzai
  • Believe
  • History
  • Change

• It's become a habit to make films where the father is absent. My father impresses me, but the father figure does not.

  

  Xavier Dolan
  • Father
  • Me
  • Habit

• You should always leave the party 10 minutes before you actually do.

  

  Gary Larson
  • Party
  • Always
  • Leave

• I love Dr. Hauschka's blue mascara. It's not so blue that it's like, 'What's wrong with you?' It's more like a secret that you're wearing it.

  

  Lake Bell
  • Like
  • Secret
  • Wrong

• The 'chinked out' style is a school of hip hop - that's the way I like to think of it - that incorporates Chinese elements and sounds.

  

  Wang Leehom
  • School
  • Think
  • Style

• The fact is, it's hard to release movies.

  

  Campbell Scott
  • Movies
  • Hard
  • Fact

• I don't prepare myself for a specific fighter. I don't choose a fight to prepare myself for another fighter.

  

  Canelo Alvarez
  • Myself
  • Fight
  • Prepare

• Mike Tyson was one of the fighters who motivated me. How? We both used to train at the Golden Gloves boxing gym. I used to see his Rolls-Royce, his diamond Rolex on, and I said, 'You know what? Those are the things that I want.'

  

  Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
  • Want
  • Train
  • Diamond

• I'm one of those fellows so frightened of driving that I go 80 miles an hour - and the more frightened I get, the faster I go.

  

  Orson Welles
  • Driving
  • More
  • Go

• L.A. is so big that if you don't actually live in Hollywood, you might as well be from a different planet.

  

  Quentin Tarantino
  • Different
  • Live
  • You

• Enthusiasm is the greatest asset you can possess, for it can take you further than money, power or influence.

  

  Dada Vaswani
  • Money
  • Power
  • Influence

• Sushi is one of my favorite foods.

  

  Dylan Penn

• Every so often when I'm writing, a character might actually be a distinct person in my head - often not an actor or a face, literally a person who just seems to exist in my imagination. Then the challenge is finding somebody who is close enough to that to make me feel like I've ended up where I wanted to be.

  

  Callie Khouri
  • Up
  • Writing
  • Character

• If you set your story in Rome, Ireland or Sheboygan, for that matter, go there. If you're broke, set it in the town where you live, or where you grew up.

  

  Lynn Flewelling
  • Up
  • Live

• When the kids were young, they just wanted to be around us. We were units of comfort and support. As they get older, we work the turnstile, helping the exasperated customer pass whatever temporary obstacle is keeping them from their next exciting thing. Now we're the ones who just like having them in the room.

  

  John Dickerson
  • Work
  • Kids
  • Support

• I'd like to say to women everywhere: don't allow these right-wing talking heads, these dishonorable people, to intimidate you or scare you.

  

  Maxine Waters
  • People
  • Women

• I don't think I'm ever going to retire from stand-up, but what I have retired from is working the road every week.

  

  Jeff Garlin
  • Up
  • Road