Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Other people's children's birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend.
Quotes to Explore
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Science attempts to analyze how things and people and animals behave; it has no concern whether this behavior is good or bad, is purposeful or not. But religion is precisely the quest for such answers: whether an act is right or wrong, good or bad, and why.
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When you built television sets, you have all this test equipment. And you'd have all these lines and squares on the screen to test it. So it occurred to me that it might be fun for people to control the lines and squares on the screen.
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I try to greet my friends with a drink in my hand, a warm smile on my face, and great music in the background, because that's what gets a dinner party off to a fun start.
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People still don't appreciate how ephemeral success is.
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I have a great sensitivity to kids. I have a great sensitivity to the people that fall between the cracks.
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We're supposed to be an example of freedom, and if we are doing things that are injustice to people, then what is our statement?
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We need more children raised in the optimum situation, which is between a mom and a dad bonded together for life.
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I went to a Steiner School, which is very small and nurturing and creative, so I felt like I was in an environment where I could mature. There was less of the clique-y stuff, which can really make high school a living hell for a lot of people, going on, so I was very similar then to who I am now. I'm still a dork.
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Today people who hold cash equivalents feel comfortable. They shouldn't. They have opted for a terrible long-term asset, one that pays virtually nothing and is certain to depreciate in value.
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Whenever I'm in the U.K., people say I have an American accent. Which is, obviously, funny.
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I love talking to people, hearing people's stories; I love honest things.
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I understood, through rehab, things about creating characters. I understood that creating whole people means knowing where we come from, how we can make a mistake and how we overcome things to make ourselves stronger.
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We know that the elements in play in a show like 'Confederate' are much more raw, much more real, and people come into them much more sensitive and more invested, than they do with a story about a place called 'Westeros,' which none of them had ever heard of before they read the books or watched the show.
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What usually happens in the educational process is that the faculties are dulled, overloaded, stuffed and paralyzed so that by the time most people are mature they have lost their innate capabilities.
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The American people would not want to know of any misquotes that Dan Quayle may or may not make.
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Specialists are people who always repeat the same mistakes.
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Getting married and then having children just centered me and grounded my values. It was like a whole new world. It started happening in New York with a little play called Cruise Control, where I relaxed, and then I kept getting work in Hollywood till this series happened.
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To denigrate the union movement in this way is to denigrate the right and the ability of people who are not rich to organize and to accomplish things together.
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People weren't willing to bet on 'The Commercial Guy' when they were casting movies and television in the beginning, but I stuck around, and now it's slowly starting to pay off.
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The people on this planet that are trying to live their life, that aren't trying to destroy things, are in the 99.9-percent majority.
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While I am in this world, I am resolved that no vexation shall put me out of temper if I can possibly command myself. Even old age, which is making strides towards me, shall not prevail to make me peevish.
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The man is best served who has no occasion to put the hands of others at the end of his own arms.
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There's no cure for getting depressed. There's no cure for self-loathing or periods of it. But figure out enough about it so that when it happens, you can get over it and keep moving and just accomplish more.
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Other people's children's birthday parties are the most joyful events you will ever resent having to attend.
