Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there. "All right, I'm standing in front of a room full of strangers. Based on what I learned in gym class, I will throw a red ball at a fat guy."
Quotes to Explore
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Many people believe the whole catastrophe is the oil we spill, but that gets diluted and eventually disarmed over time. In fact, the oil we don't spill, the oil we collect, refine and use, produces CO2 and other gases that don't get diluted.
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I believe in giving back.
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Would you believe in what you believe in if you were the only one who believed it?
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It's a notion that career-oriented women often neglect their families. But we should cut them some flak; these women are doing everything for the sake of family so that it progresses. I believe when kids see their mothers working hard, they take up responsibilities at home and are far more well-turned out than other children.
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I believe in eating what I like and sweating it out in the gym.
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My dad is a really funny guy, and we would make jokes about my leukemia. When my friends would come over, we would joke about it, too.
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Whenever societies do well, they believe that there is something in their cultural DNA that made it happen.
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I held a conference in Harvard where Americans said they didn't believe in risk. They thought it was just European hysteria. Then the terrorist attacks happened and there was a complete conversion. Suddenly terrorism was the central risk.
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But I do not believe that the world would be entirely different if there were more women leaders. Maybe if everybody in leadership was a woman, you might not get into the conflicts in the first place. But if you watch the women who have made it to the top, they haven't exactly been non-aggressive - including me.
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In all good westerns, the good guy is always a little bit questionable because he kind-of has to make moral judgments.
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When I first joined 'Dancing with the Stars,' I did not want to do it. It's not what I like, it's not what I believe in... the judges are fake, this is fake, that is fake... there is not a lot of reality.
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There's like ten minutes when it's like, 'Okay, wait, who is this guy again?' And then, you know, I just put on the calculator watch and the glasses, and just be all, you know, inappropriate. And then it just works out fine.
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I'm a big guy, but I'm really simple with the food. I'll hit the In-N-Out or just the regular buffets.
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The words we use have weight. Whether it's in a conversation with a friend or something said publicly on stage or broadcast. And as performers, we know that because that's why we choose the words we use - that's the whole point of comedy.
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You guys know the way I play. And what's so ironic is, KG is the same way. I'm looking at him in practice and going, 'Wow, I'm always that guy,' you know?
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People tend to think they know you when you come into their televisions every week. They think you are different than who you are. Don't believe everything you hear.
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I truly believe that everything Sci-fi taught me as a child about an efficient and wondrous world will be happening in my lifetime.
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I believe that we are going to have a much deeper appreciation of what kinds of abnormalities in cancer cells and in the surrounding cells that feed and respond to cancers are vulnerabilities that will allow us to make better predictions of which kinds of drugs will work to treat these cancers.
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Back then I was called Dumbo because of my ears. I was called Fatty, too. It was hurtful so I became like the class clown. I became the one who was kicked around.
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I would not want the limitations held by the name of a classical musician. I want many people to enjoy my music much beyond just classical music fans. I think the term, 'violinist,' keeps me distant from the audience. I want to communicate with them more.
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I've found I can plunge the characters into whatever absurd, awful situation, and readers will follow as long as the writer makes them seem like 'real people.'
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I was glad to hear of that determination as I detest the practice of cousins marrying or any marriage between persons in which there can be traced the most distant relationship. I go for the improvement instead of the deterioration of our race.
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I'm like Jay Gatsby. I like to throw the party and then stand back, looking gorgeous. Stand back and watch it.
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I can't believe we got grades in gym class. I've never used anything I learned in there. "All right, I'm standing in front of a room full of strangers. Based on what I learned in gym class, I will throw a red ball at a fat guy."
