Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Twitter allowed me to talk about parenting in short snippets and find out what I really wanted to say about it, which is that I'm a dad who had no idea what he's doing.
Quotes to Explore
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Whether I do an original film, a dance, or a remake of my dad's hit songs, I have always been compared to him.
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It is not weird for a dad to be doing the dishes, the laundry, and taking the kids to school, and read them stories for bed.
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After Brown, I went to Duke, to a Ph.D. program in American literature. My dad's an English professor. After a year there, I was like, 'Jesus. I don't want to do this. I don't want to be in the library.' So I pulled the ripcord, and that was it.
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We need more children raised in the optimum situation, which is between a mom and a dad bonded together for life.
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My dad was a football player - a soccer player - for Manchester United, and I loved playing football, but I also happened to be the guy in class who was pretty good at sight reading. My teacher gave me scripts, and I was very comfortable.
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My dad once said that in criminal law you see terrible people on their best behavior; in family law you see great people on their worst behavior.
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We had a few non-fiction books at home, but my dad was of the opinion that fiction was a complete and utter waste of time because it wasn't real - so what was the point of reading it?
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There's very little you're not exposed to in New York City, in terms of ideas and physical things - sights, sounds, smells, different kinds of people. But one good thing about growing up fast is you get over it fast, too.
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My coaches were great. My mom and dad. My dad never missed a wrestling meet.
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I enjoy it too much - even if I knew I'd never get a book published, I would still write. I enjoy the experience of getting thoughts and ideas and plots and characters organised into this narrative framework.
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I think that every therapist that I know, including my dad and my sister, have their own issues. But that empathy is what makes them good at their job.
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I cherish the creation of public space and services, especially health, housing and the comprehensive education system which dared to give so many of us ideas 'above our station.'
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The kids get cheated out of a lot of times with their dad. They were good about it.
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Chemo days make me tired, though it's hard to say that's because of the chemo when you have kids who have inherited their dad's usual energy level.
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I am the first one to go to university in my family. I am the first writer as well. My dad is a retired policeman, and my mom works for a glass-processing company. She is health-and-safety manager, and my stepfather is a plumber. I have four half siblings, one from my mom's marriage and three from my dad's marriage, so we are kind of scattered.
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But it's like the horror of being in a studio with a blank canvas. I used to always run out of ideas because there are so many possibilities and I would just think, well what am I going to do now!
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The advice that is wanted is commonly not welcome and that which is not wanted, evidently an effrontery.
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In addition, there is one title I cherish a great deal more than Congressman and that is the title of... Dad.
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"I got up early because I wanted to." - Nobody
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I understand Twitter has become popular among politicians. This technology allows them to stay in perpetual contact with their constituents. The electorate now has instant information about what politicians have been up to.
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I've always been one of the youngest guys on the team. But now I'm one of the older guys, one of the more experienced guys, and I have to be more of a leader. The guys are looking up to me, asking me questions and looking at me to step up.
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American failures in Vietnam and Iraq suggest that it's not really possible to create and sustain a proxy government in a country far from our own borders.
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Something I didn't even know was on my bucket list has been achieved. I have cooked Thanksgiving dinner with Martha Stewart. I vow to follow the gospel of her teachings and do my very best in the remarkably less glamorous kitchen of my own home... without the luxury of magically appearing prep bowls filled by a staff of sous chefs.
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Twitter allowed me to talk about parenting in short snippets and find out what I really wanted to say about it, which is that I'm a dad who had no idea what he's doing.
