Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Not that I don't think irreverent humor and someone being filthy is funny, I just do what I do. Any comedian would admit throwing an f-bomb in there would help get a reaction. ... I'm not on a Puritanical pursuit, but when I would curse in a joke, I believe I'm not done writing it.

Jim Gaffigan

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Quotes to Explore

• Our franchises have never been healthier. Our league, in terms of its economic footing, has never been healthier.

  

  Gary Bettman
  • Never
  • Economic
  • Been

• I think there's no greater healing power than music.

  

  Irvin Mayfield
  • Music
  • Power
  • Healing

• Every member in Congress has a seat, and they deserve a seat at the table.

  

  Dan Webster
  • Deserve
  • Congress
  • Table

• I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.

  

  Vince Lombardi
  • Good
  • Great
  • Believe

• Anything that is wasted effort represents wasted time. The best management of our time thus becomes linked inseparably with the best utilization of our efforts.

  

  Ted Engstrom
  • Time
  • Best
  • Effort

• I always had dreams as a kid. I definitely sat at home and watched the Oscars every year and got emotional every year at everyone's speeches.

  

  Yvonne Strahovski
  • Home
  • Emotional
  • Dreams

• I really bonded with my mom, growing up, through our love of horror movies!

  

  Garrett Clayton
  • Growing
  • Mom
  • Horror

• While cheap products are exported to western countries, the waste is dumped mostly in China's back yard, contaminating its air, water, soil and seas.

  

  Ma Jun
  • Water
  • Air
  • China

• I never thought about having a daughter, and then I had a daughter, and it was a remarkable thing. It was very different from having a son and your response to it. With a son, it's much more complex. And it's probably because of my stuff in the past. With a daughter, I was surprised at how simple it is.

  

  Sam Shepard
  • Different
  • Past
  • Simple

• Public opinion is a permeating influence, and it exacts obedience to itself; it requires us to drink other men's thoughts, to speak other men's words, to follow other men's habits.

  

  Walter Bagehot
  • Men
  • Words
  • Opinion

• Acting was something I had to do.

  

  Nancy Marchand
  • Acting
  • Something
  • Had

• I went to boarding school, and what that teaches you is to cope emotionally at a young age and to suppress a lot of emotion. Being in the army is, in a way, similar.

  

  Damian Lewis
  • School
  • Age
  • Army

• Fashion has this youth mania. But 70-year-old ladies don't have 18-year-old bodies, and 18-year-olds don't have a 70-year-old's dollars.

  

  Iris Apfel
  • Fashion
  • Youth
  • Dollars

• I love to see a wood full of bluebells. Growing up in the Kent countryside, I have special memories of this brief annual spectacle.

  

  Gary Hume
  • Memories
  • Special
  • Spectacle

• In spite of holidays when I was free to visit London theatres and explore the countryside, I spent four very miserable years as a colonial at an English school.

  

  Patrick White
  • School
  • Free
  • English

• Reading about Queen Victoria has been a passion of mine since, as a child, I came across Laurence Housman's play 'Happy and Glorious,' with its Ernest Shepard illustrations.

  

  A. N. Wilson
  • Happy
  • Reading
  • Passion

• I'm not cynical.

  

  Laura Schlessinger
  • Cynical

• It's frightening how easy it is to commit murder in America. Just a drink too much. I can see myself doing it. In England, one feels all the social restraints holding one back. But here, anything can happen.

  

  W. H. Auden
  • America
  • Myself
  • Doing

• If you're not having fun - I don't care what you're doing - don't do it. Move on. Find something else, life's too short.

  

  Jerry Doyle
  • Life
  • Fun

• I studied structured improv, where you start from one position and see where it takes you. I like spontaneity. If you set yourself up to do the same thing every night, you may not connect as well to a different audience.

  

  Jillian Hervey
  • Up
  • Different
  • May

• I really, really don't think that, outside of maybe some pink wigs, [that] there's anything that separates me from every other woman in America.

  

  Nicki Minaj
  • Thinking
  • America
  • Pink

• I'm the opposite of those writers who believe that my work is sacrosanct and cannot be touched.

  

  Vikas Swarup
  • Work
  • Believe
  • Opposite

• Why do you think people cheat?," I asked. "Because they're bored? Because they can? Because they're selfish and think they're entitled to anything they want? Because they don't think they'll get caught?

  

  Sarah Mlynowski
  • People
  • Thinking
  • Bored

• Not that I don't think irreverent humor and someone being filthy is funny, I just do what I do. Any comedian would admit throwing an f-bomb in there would help get a reaction. ... I'm not on a Puritanical pursuit, but when I would curse in a joke, I believe I'm not done writing it.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Believe
  • Thinking
  • Writing