Jim Gaffigan Quotes

You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby.

Jim Gaffigan

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• Baby

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Quotes to Explore

• The PBSI (Indonesian Badminton Association) have to work harder to widen the pool and find quality players. The present indifferent culture has to change.

  

  Taufik Hidayat
  • Work
  • Culture
  • Change

• My direction has never really changed, because I don't think that you can really work gimmicks in gospel music. With gospel music, there is this central theme that always comes around about the love of God, the love of Jesus and the power that you have through Jesus Christ. You don't need a gimmick when you have that.

  

  Yolanda Adams
  • Music
  • God
  • Love

• We tend to talk about death as if it is losing a battle, but that assumes living is winning and dying is not.

  

  Hanya Yanagihara
  • Death
  • Winning
  • Dying

• A long iron rod rocketed straight through the very forefront of Phineas Gage's brain. It's kind of an unusual part of the brain: you can suffer pretty severe injuries to it and often walk away from the injury. It's not a part of the brain that's necessarily vital for your biological self. But it is very important for personality.

  

  Sam Kean
  • Important
  • Long
  • Pretty

• We need affordable childcare and paid sick leave so workers don't have to choose between their health and their livelihood.

  

  Jackie Speier
  • Health
  • Sick
  • Choose

• Jessica Lange was my biggest crush when I was a kid.

  

  Oscar Isaac
  • Kid
  • Crush
  • Biggest

• I never lose confidence. As soon as you lose confidence, you're done.

  

  Vernon Wells
  • Done
  • Confidence
  • Lose

• What were once only hopes for the future have now come to pass; it is almost exactly 13 years since the overwhelming majority of people in Ireland and Northern Ireland voted in favour of the agreement signed on Good Friday 1998, paving the way for Northern Ireland to become the exciting and inspirational place that it is today.

  

  Queen Elizabeth II
  • People
  • Good
  • Future

• I like films to be pure cinema, but I also like them to provide a snapshot of a family, a society or a character - something that can nourish you as a human being as well as an actor.

  

  Tahar Rahim
  • Family
  • Character
  • Society

• Of course, no one wants to ban the vote. Voting should remain available for sporting and recreational purposes. But certain types of votes clearly should be curtailed - 'assault votes,' for example, in which the only purpose of the vote is to harm others.

  

  P. J. O'Rourke
  • Purpose
  • Vote
  • Voting

• My friend Jerry Falwell was the one who said it, and he was a guest on my show, and it's hard to take the blame for everybody who shows up on your show.

  

  Pat Robertson
  • Up
  • Friend
  • Said

• When I was born, my parents - my mother especially - couldn't come to terms with that fact that they had another baby girl. I know these stories in detail because every time a guest visited, or there was a gathering, they repeated this story in front of me that how I was the unwanted child.

  

  Kangana Ranaut
  • Time
  • Mother
  • Parents

• There is no way to prosperity, prosperity is the way.

  

  Wayne Dyer
  • Way
  • Prosperity

• Enjoy every sandwich.

  

  Warren Zevon
  • Enjoy
  • Every
  • Sandwich

• Too often, older women are seen as victims, but I know lots of formidable women who have marvellous jobs as well as a full erotic life, and children and friends and family.

  

  Francesca Annis
  • Life
  • Women
  • Children

• I was about nine years old when a teacher administered my IQ test. Unfortunately, as I was nine, I didn't know that I needed to keep the paperwork for future reference.

  

  Walter O'Brien
  • Future
  • Teacher
  • Test

• Sometimes it's more difficult to achieve a 10% cost reduction than it is to tell people they have to achieve 50%. Small incremental steps block your view of doing something fundamentally different.

  

  Eckhard Pfeiffer
  • People
  • Different
  • Small

• I never met a woman I didn't like. I love 'em all, in their different ways.

  

  B. B. King
  • Different
  • Love
  • Like

• People get in fights because they don't communicate, because you don't want to hurt the other person.

  

  Aaron Paul
  • People
  • Want
  • Hurt

• Australians are crazy, man! Every night, I feel like I'm in a scene from Brad Pitt's 'World War Z'... the kids are going to figure out a way to from a zombie rave ladder over the plexiglass and come into the DJ booth and eat me alive... Not in a bad way at all.

  

  Jillionaire
  • World
  • Kids
  • War

• There are two names that jump right out to me they are Mariska Hargitay and Katie Holmes. Both of these women are incredibly talented, and also wonderful moms, they would be down on their knees right after a take to play with their kids. They’re beautiful women inside and out, and that’s what inspires me!

  

  Bailee Madison
  • Women
  • Kids
  • Beautiful

• I am of the generation of segregation. Black Lives Matter is post. I said today, and I will say all the time, "If Nina [Simone] were here, she'd have her Black Lives Matter [T-shirt] on." I think they're great kids. They don't need me or anybody else to tell them what to do.

  

  Yolande Cornelia "Nikki" Giovanni, Jr.
  • Thinking
  • Kids
  • Today

• Ian Smith.

  

  Ian Smith

• You know what it's like having five kids? Imagine you're drowning. And someone hands you a baby.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Kids
  • Baby