Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

Jim Gaffigan

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Quotes to Explore

• As an actor, you read so many scripts and parts written for Asian-specific characters, and you see a lot of stereotypes and a lot of one-note characters, especially in comedy.

  

  Randall Park
  • Comedy
  • See
  • Stereotypes

• Well, I'm Canadian. True, north, strong, and free.

  

  Barry Pepper
  • True
  • Free
  • Strong

• A Persian army being then subject to great inconveniences, for their horses are tied and generally shackled to prevent them from running away, and if an alarm happens, a Persian has the housing to fix, his horse to bridle, and his corslet to put on before he can mount.

  

  Xenophon
  • Great
  • Running
  • Horse

• I live in Las Vegas with my family, and I never realized what my parents would go through to get me to a five-minute audition.

  

  Adam Hicks
  • Live
  • Family
  • Parents

• What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like.

  

  Saint Augustine
  • Love
  • Help
  • For Her

• No citizen is a second class citizen in the city of Chicago. If my children are treated one way, every child is treated the same way.

  

  Rahm Emanuel
  • Children
  • City
  • Child

• There's a finite amount of time on this planet for each of us. Sometimes, the only way we figure out how to deal with that reality - knowing that there will be an end to every story, and you don't know how many chapters are left in your book - is by living in denial.

  

  Eddie Vedder Pearl Jam
  • Time
  • Book
  • Reality

• I've always had this sneaking suspicion that I get a kick out of the insecurity.

  

  Samantha Bond
  • Always
  • Insecurity
  • Out

• We are not anti-white. But we don't have time for the white man. The white man is on top already, the white man is the boss already... he has first-class citizenship already. So you are wasting your time talking to the white man. We are working on our own people.

  

  Malcolm X
  • People
  • Time
  • Man

• I don't think there are any men who are faithful to their wives.

  

  Jackie Kennedy
  • Men
  • Think
  • Faithful

• Once I got my driver's license everybody treated me like I was an adult.

  

  Candace Cameron Bure
  • Me
  • Like
  • Adult

• In catering, you're always changing; the client is always dictating to you in terms of their wishes.

  

  Carla Hall
  • You
  • Wishes
  • Changing

• I love Sunday-morning drives. I'll be up at 6 A.M., get a cup of coffee, and head out.

  

  Taylor Kinney
  • Love
  • Morning
  • Coffee

• It should not be the government running the economy.

  

  Quico Canseco
  • Running
  • Government
  • Should

• The directors that I end up having a really good time with are the ones that understand the fluidity of the medium and are interested in catching lightning in a bottle.

  

  Oliver Platt
  • Up
  • Time
  • Good

• In the aftermath of a marriage, you feel helpless and hapless.

  

  Kate Christensen
  • You
  • Marriage
  • Feel

• I had some great experiences, but there were times when films didn't do well right, especially after 'Vicky Donor.'

  

  Yami Gautam
  • Great
  • Right
  • Experiences

• I'm in a complete state of panic before I begin something because I'm sure that it's going to be a complete disaster. I'm going to do a worse job than anybody could ever imagine anybody doing on the planet Earth.

  

  Maira Kalman
  • Job
  • Earth
  • Doing

• Truth is meant to save you first, and the comfort comes afterwards.

  

  Georges Bernanos
  • Truth
  • Comfort
  • Save

• All those statistics that you are gathering about your own experiences and about others are only about how somebody has flowed Energy. It isn't about any hard fast reality.

  

  Esther Hicks
  • Reality
  • Energy
  • Statistics

• Acting for me is not a business, it's about trying to make pieces of art that I believe that I feel proud of. And it's the journey of that.

  

  Nicole Kidman
  • Believe
  • Business
  • Journey

• It's the idea that when you say 'actress', people think of an airy, floaty, no-brain person, which of course you can't be if you are an actor. It is an unfortunate word, which is why, for a time, I hung on to 'actor', because it just seemed more workmanlike, you know, like you say 'woman doctor' not 'doctoress'.

  

  Miranda Richardson
  • Brain
  • Actors
  • Actresses

• Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Knows
  • Hell
  • Asking