Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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As an actor, you read so many scripts and parts written for Asian-specific characters, and you see a lot of stereotypes and a lot of one-note characters, especially in comedy.
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Well, I'm Canadian. True, north, strong, and free.
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A Persian army being then subject to great inconveniences, for their horses are tied and generally shackled to prevent them from running away, and if an alarm happens, a Persian has the housing to fix, his horse to bridle, and his corslet to put on before he can mount.
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I live in Las Vegas with my family, and I never realized what my parents would go through to get me to a five-minute audition.
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What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like.
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No citizen is a second class citizen in the city of Chicago. If my children are treated one way, every child is treated the same way.
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There's a finite amount of time on this planet for each of us. Sometimes, the only way we figure out how to deal with that reality - knowing that there will be an end to every story, and you don't know how many chapters are left in your book - is by living in denial.
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I've always had this sneaking suspicion that I get a kick out of the insecurity.
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We are not anti-white. But we don't have time for the white man. The white man is on top already, the white man is the boss already... he has first-class citizenship already. So you are wasting your time talking to the white man. We are working on our own people.
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I don't think there are any men who are faithful to their wives.
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Once I got my driver's license everybody treated me like I was an adult.
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In catering, you're always changing; the client is always dictating to you in terms of their wishes.
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I love Sunday-morning drives. I'll be up at 6 A.M., get a cup of coffee, and head out.
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It should not be the government running the economy.
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The directors that I end up having a really good time with are the ones that understand the fluidity of the medium and are interested in catching lightning in a bottle.
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In the aftermath of a marriage, you feel helpless and hapless.
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I had some great experiences, but there were times when films didn't do well right, especially after 'Vicky Donor.'
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I'm in a complete state of panic before I begin something because I'm sure that it's going to be a complete disaster. I'm going to do a worse job than anybody could ever imagine anybody doing on the planet Earth.
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I can think of a number of areas in New York where three acres of nuclear waste would make the neighborhood safer to walk around in than it is now, and better lit.
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For Africa to me... is more than a glamorous fact. It is a historical truth. No man can know where he is going unless he knows exactly where he has been and exactly how he arrived at his present place.
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Good to know we're all twelve years old mentally. Keeps things in perspective.
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Hell is a place where you have nothing to do but amuse yourself.
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Bad criticism recites rote arguments. The shame of rote arguments isn't just that they're cliches, though they are, but that they tend to hide from us why a critic is actually thinking what they're thinking.
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Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.
