Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I do want everyone to feel comfortable. That's why I'd like to talk to you about Jesus.
Quotes to Explore
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There are more fools than knaves in the world, else the knaves would not have enough to live upon.
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Fashion and interior design are one and the same.
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If Bill jumps into something that relies on a lot of cymbals, I'll jump into something that relies on a lot of skin sounds; if he goes into metal tones, I'll go into wood, and so on. I basically play in his holes.
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I would be too selfish if I said everyone should see my movies more than once. To say that would mean I'm just marketing my work!
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A woman who demands further gun control legislation is like a chicken who roots for Colonel Sanders.
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Every bad thing that's happened to me has defined me, has shaped, has moulded me.
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If a Chinese student does not know Chinese learning, it's like a person without a surname, a horse without a bridle, a boat without a helm. The more Western learning he possesses, the more hateful of China he will become. Even if he becomes a capable man of vast learning, how can he be of any use to the state?
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Today, our economy is about an economy of ideas.
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I'm not really that girl who dreams about her wedding day.
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They want to let the audience figure things out and let the reaction shot get the laugh.
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When I was a kid, I had two great guilty pleasures. One was horror movies and the other was martial arts movies.
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I am an Indian to the core.
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A lot of times, we look at jazz in eras. How can we not keep those eras separate and think of the language as one complete continuum? It's all interrelated, and it's all evolutionary.
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There is one day that is ours. Thanksgiving Day is the one day that is purely American.
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Only a completely unintelligible God can be said to be absolutely good and absolutely powerful yet tolerate the world as it is.
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The good people look for challenges. When teaching becomes a prestigious profession, then you'll get good people.
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I haven't sold to the movies. In other words, I haven't gotten any enormous checks yet.
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Who have I picked fights with over the years? Bill Gates. Google. Mark Zuckerberg. Even - despite everything that's written about my relationship with Steve Jobs - we had yelling matches.
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Against all the opposition in the world, I make this statement - that once I knew a magician. I was a witness of a performance that may some day be considered understandable, but that, in these primitive times, so transcends what is said to be the known that it is what I mean by magic.
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I know that people think I'm a party king; but, face it, if I finished the bottle every time I took a drink, I wouldn't be able to do the aerials I do onstage.
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By accepting life before it happens, and letting go of your inner resistance to all things you cannot change, you unlock true emotional freedom from all of your self-imposed emotional pain.
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One of the reasons I went back to music even though I was extremely ill was because I started to forget who I was aside from being sick. And when I'm performing, or even lecturing, it's like I'm myself again, and that was a really amazing discovery - that, all of a sudden, I have a get-out-of-jail-free card.
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M*A*S*H' was a collection of people, in front of and behind the cameras, that really clicked.
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I do want everyone to feel comfortable. That's why I'd like to talk to you about Jesus.
