Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I do want everyone to feel comfortable. That's why I'd like to talk to you about Jesus.

Quotes to Explore
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There are more fools than knaves in the world, else the knaves would not have enough to live upon.
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Fashion and interior design are one and the same.
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If Bill jumps into something that relies on a lot of cymbals, I'll jump into something that relies on a lot of skin sounds; if he goes into metal tones, I'll go into wood, and so on. I basically play in his holes.
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I would be too selfish if I said everyone should see my movies more than once. To say that would mean I'm just marketing my work!
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A woman who demands further gun control legislation is like a chicken who roots for Colonel Sanders.
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Every bad thing that's happened to me has defined me, has shaped, has moulded me.
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If a Chinese student does not know Chinese learning, it's like a person without a surname, a horse without a bridle, a boat without a helm. The more Western learning he possesses, the more hateful of China he will become. Even if he becomes a capable man of vast learning, how can he be of any use to the state?
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Today, our economy is about an economy of ideas.
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I'm not really that girl who dreams about her wedding day.
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They want to let the audience figure things out and let the reaction shot get the laugh.
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When I was a kid, I had two great guilty pleasures. One was horror movies and the other was martial arts movies.
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I am an Indian to the core.
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A lot of times, we look at jazz in eras. How can we not keep those eras separate and think of the language as one complete continuum? It's all interrelated, and it's all evolutionary.
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Only a completely unintelligible God can be said to be absolutely good and absolutely powerful yet tolerate the world as it is.
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The good people look for challenges. When teaching becomes a prestigious profession, then you'll get good people.
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I haven't sold to the movies. In other words, I haven't gotten any enormous checks yet.
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Who have I picked fights with over the years? Bill Gates. Google. Mark Zuckerberg. Even - despite everything that's written about my relationship with Steve Jobs - we had yelling matches.
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Flip through the channels, and there is no denying it: The world of cable news - and their network chat-show brethren - is very, very white.
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When people do things for you, it's because they want to - because you, in some way, give them something meaningful that makes them want to please you, not because anyone owes you anything.
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A lot of me is very up, and you have to have light and shade. They are both important and you have to be able to balance them. You have to admit that sadness is part of you and that it enriches you. I use it in my work.
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Exploitation, mutilation, mutations, confirmation to the evils of the world.
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Science is Christian, not when it condemns itself to the letter of things, but when, in the infinitely little, it discovers as many mysteries and as much depth and power as in the infinitely great.
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Most people would identify with the fact that we tend to be defined by the struggles we came through than by the successes. And certainly for me that's true.
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I do want everyone to feel comfortable. That's why I'd like to talk to you about Jesus.