Jim Gaffigan Quotes
One thing I'm afraid of is not taking advantage of opportunities. I feel like these are kind of gifts.
Quotes to Explore
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I converse with my dog through ESP.
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Inappropriateness is funny to me. Rudeness is hilarious.
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We in the Middle East like to talk politics, we like to argue. Just look at the three prophets - Moses, Jesus and Mohammad. They are all from this small region which creates problems all the time.
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My parents and my brother instilled in me my sense of humor. That's kind of the way we communicate with each other, and it's always been a way for me to get to know people.
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When I was 13, I started working in a nightclub with Ray Charles. That's the greatest school in the world, the school of the streets. Ray taught me how to read in Braille. He was only two years older than me, but it was like he was 100 years older.
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I liked to play dress-up.
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Growing up, I was always the small guy.
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Teasing and a sense of humor, if you can develop that in your kids, and if you can exercise it with the kids, just makes for a pleasanter atmosphere.
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I've been thinking about Jesus. Don't you find it a bit strange that, since He was living with His family and all, He up and left them just when they needed him most?
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Oh, isn't it cool? It's so cool being an actor! It's so cool having my face on a bus.
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You lose the speed before the stamina.
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That's what the sari is about. Everything is covered, yet a peep of an ankle can be a turn on for men.
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I have lifestyle requirements. Photos, meetings, lunches, dinners, facial care, tooth care. It requires an exorbitant amount of money.
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We live on a planet that is amazing, beautiful, and full of wonder but not protected from powerful destructive forces of nature. We are capable of doing wonderful and selfless things but also self-absorbed and harmful things. This is the world we live in.
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It's important to understand that one gender is not superior to the other.
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If you go to a second-rate place, and you are first-rate, it is very difficult to do first-rate work because you do not get that critical feedback you need for first-rate work on a daily basis.
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I keep everything that's private private.
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So I had the opportunity to do what the kids in the Hershey program do, except that the Hershey program lets them do it on such a larger scale, with the regional and national competitions.
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We're all conditioned to work hard, and it's not just an Asian thing: it's an Asian American thing. You maximize the little opportunity you have, and I've made a career.
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I prefer if friends come over to my office and we talk our heart out over a cup of coffee. I feel that no one talks freely at industry bashes. Everyone has to behave in a certain way, and I think no one is real there. We can't have heart-to-heart conversations, and I start feeling uncomfortable at such dos.
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When people attempt to rebel against the iron logic of Nature, they come into conflict with the very same principles to which they owe their existence as human beings. Their actions against Nature must lead to their own downfall.
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I grew up in the 1950s at the beginning of rock n' roll, and would strum a tennis racket in front of the mirror.
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One thing I'm afraid of is not taking advantage of opportunities. I feel like these are kind of gifts.
