Jim Gaffigan Quotes

I always want my standup act to appeal to everybody in the room, and when I started standup, and I would see people talk about their kids and their wife, and I'd always cringe a little bit, like, 'I can't get a date, I don't know what you're talking about.'

Jim Gaffigan

• People
• Kids
• Wife
• Littles
• Appeals

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Quotes to Explore

• I feel like the reason people feel like they know me is because I'm giving you myself in the music. There's where the connection comes from; you can't Twitter that.

  

  J. Cole
  • People
  • Music
  • Giving

• I took the position from day one that it was the right decree, that the modifications I made to the decree were proper, that the correct outcome had been obtained, and that in due time all of that would become apparent. And it has become apparent.

  

  Harold H. Greene
  • Time
  • Day
  • Become

• You either make dust or eat dust.

  

  H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
  • You
  • Eat
  • Either

• What I'm still grappling with and learning how to do is to be looking and thinking cinematically, having come from television.

  

  J. J. Abrams
  • Thinking
  • Learning
  • Looking

• The problem with rich lists is... it is impossible to know what someone is worth until they have died and you have sold it.

  

  Felix Dennis
  • Problem
  • Impossible
  • Rich

• But, unfortunately, sometimes that affirmation creates a sense that you deserve special treatment and recognition in areas where you're not so talented.

  

  Taylor Hackford
  • You
  • Deserve
  • Affirmation

• We are building technology to keep up with what's happening in the world. It's transforming the way people are working. We're bringing the enterprise to the world.

  

  Parker Harris
  • People
  • Up
  • World

• Speed can't always get you wickets.

  

  Kapil Dev
  • You
  • Always
  • Speed

• Americans should never believe, even incorrectly, that one's criminal activity will go unpunished simply because it was committed on behalf of a corporation.

  

  Sally Yates
  • Believe
  • Never
  • Will

• We are all totally committed as elite athletes. To think that pushing people around and bullying them is the best way to get results out of them is just ludicrous.

  

  Victoria Pendleton
  • People
  • Best
  • Bullying

• You realize when you're pregnant how lucky you are to have access to medical care.

  

  Olivia Wilde
  • Care
  • Lucky
  • Medical

• The National Surveillance State doesn't want anyone to be able to communicate without the authorities being able to monitor that communication.

  

  Barry Eisler
  • Want
  • Communication
  • Without

• When I travel with my kids abroad, I am not myself, but I'm more a father who wants to protect them. Sometimes, I am even aggressive about certain things and get surprised seeing myself like that: for instance, when people want to take pictures of them. I am fine if they want to take my pictures, but they are not public property.

  

  A. R. Rahman
  • People
  • Kids
  • Father

• I do have a television over there - it was a gift - but I never turn it on. I'd rather read a book.

  

  Sam Crawford
  • Book
  • Television
  • Gift

• You can have whatever you want if you believe in yourself and keep your feet firmly planted in the ground.

  

  AJ McLean
  • Believe
  • Feet
  • Believe In Yourself

• When you're the victim of the behavior, it's black and white; when you're the perpetrator, there are a million shades of gray.

  

  Laura Schlessinger
  • Black
  • Black-and-white

• You say something, things you would rather forget, and then they are out there. It makes me anxious and I don't know why people are interested in me anyway. If I had my way, I would rather exist in a little hole and not speak to anyone.

  

  Sally Hawkins
  • People
  • Why
  • Me

• Loving a child doesn't mean giving in to all his whims; to love him is to bring out the best in him, to teach him to love what is difficult.

  

  Nadia Boulanger
  • Love
  • Giving
  • Best

• It didn't matter what we did or where we did it as long as we were together. We knew we'd found what most people either pursue in years of futile search or dismiss as a fantasy at the outset: the missing half of ourselves. The real thing.

  

  John Perry Barlow Grateful Dead
  • People
  • Long
  • Real

• I want all of the work that I do to have a social justice footprint attached. I want it to move the needle forward when it comes to the perception of all people, but especially people of color.

  

  Winston Duke
  • People
  • Justice
  • Color

• In old grimy streets, in isolated and decaying houses, sometimes far from the Vieux Carre, in little used and secluded cemeteries, there still sluggishly circulates the ebbing blood of the past, of a vigorous and vividly hued past.

  

  Clarence John Laughlin
  • House
  • Past
  • Littles

• The love of God invades me, the peace of God pervades me, the will of God persuades me, and I am wholly His.

  

  E. Stanley Jones
  • God
  • Peace
  • God's Will

• My parents couldn't be looser. It was the ultimate laissez faire upbringing.

  

  Charlie Trotter
  • Parents

• I always want my standup act to appeal to everybody in the room, and when I started standup, and I would see people talk about their kids and their wife, and I'd always cringe a little bit, like, 'I can't get a date, I don't know what you're talking about.'

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • People
  • Kids
  • Wife