Jim Gaffigan Quotes
I initially signed up for Twitter just to do jokes I wasn't going to do in my stand-up routine.

Quotes to Explore
-
When I wrote 'Fight Song,' I was in a particular low point. I needed to remind myself to not give up, that I still believed in myself and that I still had fight left.
-
What is all our histories, but God showing himself, shaking and trampling on everything that he has not planted.
-
'Longmire' is more of a show about the characters, and you couldn't pay a bigger compliment than to want to know more about my character, or the characters on the show.
-
When people arrive at El Bulli, everybody goes through the kitchen. It's a way of making them feel at home. When they leave, the only thing I ask is whether they've been happy. Everything in between, I don't particularly care.
-
You must learn from the mistakes of others. You can't possibly live long enough to make them all yourself.
-
I'm not a collector. I toss things out all the time.
-
Whilst we deliberate how to begin a thing, it grows too late to begin it.
-
I have so much music inside me I'm just trying to stay afloat. I don't tend to write for a particular band - you have to just write the songs and then let God into the room and let the music tell you what to do.
-
I don't think being a writer who is religious means you have to write about nothing but religion. When I do write about religion, it's to inform the story, not to push a certain agenda.
-
I don't feel that I've had a life of abuse or that I am a victim in any way. My life is pretty typical of a lot of Americans of my generation who grew up in the sixties in families like mine that were sort of unconventional.
-
I kind of stumbled into comics in a roundabout way. One of the first films my father introduced me to was the 1989 'Batman,' the Tim Burton one.
-
Isolation is a dream killer.
-
Publicity's a cancer. It eats out a man - till there's nothing but a shell left.
-
Novelists have to be adept at controlling the flow of information, and, most crucially, they have to be in charge of the narrative.
-
Sometimes people who are Jewish are held to a higher standard which sometimes we take great pride in.
-
I always want to work on things that really scare me and interest me at the same time, and you know, I definitely had some projects in the past that did that, but the stars never aligned in getting them up. So 'Lion' was another project that really interested me, and the stars did align on this one. It just happened to be my first film!
-
Every day, you have to get up with new energy and new ideas to contribute to pushing the organization forward.
-
All the characters on 'Girls' are growing and changing, which is how real people behave, especially when we're young, trying to figure out who we are, doing things that are the polar opposite of our characteristics.
-
This ought to be a season for cooperation in terms of pushing our economy forward, job creation, steadying the middle class, and laying the groundwork for a better future. And that's what we want to work on with Republicans and Democrats.
-
I lot of people remember when that kid spray-painted my brand new Porsche for Punk'd. That was pretty funny. He got me pretty good. Of course, most people don't know I eventually got him back with my own show. I call it a show, really it's just an hour-long video shot in my bedroom featuring the two of us.
-
I'm not really trying to be a stand-up comedian. I have a huge amount of respect for the guys who do it. That's their livelihood. That's their job. It's just something that I enjoy.
-
A band is not a marriage. There are no oaths of allegiance. If you feel your life will be better served by splitting up the group, you've got to do it - but of course it does cause problems.
-
The light would reach us more quickly in the morning and fade more slowly at night if the whole earth were divided into vast flower beds that called forth the light at dawn and clutched it longer at nightfall. Nature instituted summer for flowers long before man took summer over for his own uses.
-
I initially signed up for Twitter just to do jokes I wasn't going to do in my stand-up routine.