Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I don't carry a wallet. I keep my cards in my pocket and cash in my boots.
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Where you have the most armed citizens in America, you have the lowest violent crime rate. Where you have the worst gun control, you have the highest crime rate.
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I'm the complete opposite of every clean cut, decent-looking guy you could ever think of. Yet, I have the biggest heart in the world.
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Exposure to a diversity of disciplines has been exceptionally helpful to me.
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Now that mobile phones and the internet have altered the epistemic selective landscape in a revolutionary way, every religious organisation must scramble to evolve defences or become extinct.
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Compared to how I have raced before and how I have competed, the success that I have had, this does look like doom compared to it.
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Intelligence is sexy. Don't play dumb, especially young girls. Don't play dumb. And let people see that you are intelligent.
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I'm not afraid to call a wine that tastes like Skittles or green peppers mixed with orange marmalade. I'll say, 'It tastes like chicken.' I mean, that's not what people think of when they think of wine, but that's what it tastes like to me and it hits home.
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I'm very intelligent. I'm capable of doing everything put to me. I've launched a perfume and want my own hotel chain. I'm living proof blondes are not stupid.
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One must act in painting as in life, directly.
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It has been a great working experience with Sreenu Vaitla.
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When you forgive somebody, it doesn't necessarily mean you want to invite them to your table.
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I think it's a fundamental responsibility of the federal government to enforce our nation's borders.
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The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.
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Losing is no fun no matter who you lose to.
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Well, you know, Thomas Jefferson, who was the author of the Declaration of Independence said he wouldn't have any atheists in his cabinet because atheists wouldn't swear an oath to God. That was Jefferson and we have never had any Muslims in the cabinet.
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For some people, miracles serve as evidence of God's existence.
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The first time we ever used the Dixie flag for our backdrop was actually when we went over to Europe in 1970. It looked good, so we all liked it. We never meant any racial things by it.
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A Big Wave is like a Beautiful Woman.....exciting to look at and thrilling to ride.
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I truly did feel that I owed it to my parents, my grandparents, to do whatever it was that I wanted, because if I wasn't happy, if I wasn't being true to myself, then I wasn't living fully. They had given up so much so that I could live at the level that so many people are just automatically born into.
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After Gmail, if you have AOL, people are like, 'Are you still with this?' What does it matter what e-mail you have?
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It's been phenomenal, but everybody keeps congratulating me on my resurgence and my big comeback. I haven't been away, guys. I've been working steadily for the last 63 years.
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Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.
