Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I don't carry a wallet. I keep my cards in my pocket and cash in my boots.
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Where you have the most armed citizens in America, you have the lowest violent crime rate. Where you have the worst gun control, you have the highest crime rate.
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I'm the complete opposite of every clean cut, decent-looking guy you could ever think of. Yet, I have the biggest heart in the world.
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Exposure to a diversity of disciplines has been exceptionally helpful to me.
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Now that mobile phones and the internet have altered the epistemic selective landscape in a revolutionary way, every religious organisation must scramble to evolve defences or become extinct.
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Compared to how I have raced before and how I have competed, the success that I have had, this does look like doom compared to it.
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Intelligence is sexy. Don't play dumb, especially young girls. Don't play dumb. And let people see that you are intelligent.
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I'm not afraid to call a wine that tastes like Skittles or green peppers mixed with orange marmalade. I'll say, 'It tastes like chicken.' I mean, that's not what people think of when they think of wine, but that's what it tastes like to me and it hits home.
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I'm very intelligent. I'm capable of doing everything put to me. I've launched a perfume and want my own hotel chain. I'm living proof blondes are not stupid.
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One must act in painting as in life, directly.
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It has been a great working experience with Sreenu Vaitla.
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I think it's a fundamental responsibility of the federal government to enforce our nation's borders.
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The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.
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Losing is no fun no matter who you lose to.
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Well, you know, Thomas Jefferson, who was the author of the Declaration of Independence said he wouldn't have any atheists in his cabinet because atheists wouldn't swear an oath to God. That was Jefferson and we have never had any Muslims in the cabinet.
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For some people, miracles serve as evidence of God's existence.
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I don't mind dating younger men now.
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I am not a person of faith. I'm a Catholic. I was brought up Catholic, but I'm not a church-going sort of girl. I'm very spiritual. I pray every night. I believe in Heaven and Hell, but I'm not a person that goes to church, like, every Sunday.
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When a big change occurs in your life it forces you to change direction. Sometimes the new path may not be easy, but you can be absolutely certain that there is magnificence for you on the new path. You can be absolutely certain that the new path contains things that you could not have experienced otherwise. When we look back at a negative event that occurred in the past, we often see how in fact it transformed our life. We see how that event directed us toward a life that we would not change for anything.
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Solitude with God repairs the damage done by the fret and noise and clamour of the world.
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I get this thing where people are like, 'Man, you got to tell me what to do' - like I have a cheat code to being successful. It's hard work; it's trial and error. I failed, but I never let failure get to my head or to my heart.
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When I remember my mother, it makes me really sad. But, when I remember my father, it makes me smile.
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Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.
