Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I don't carry a wallet. I keep my cards in my pocket and cash in my boots.
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Where you have the most armed citizens in America, you have the lowest violent crime rate. Where you have the worst gun control, you have the highest crime rate.
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I'm the complete opposite of every clean cut, decent-looking guy you could ever think of. Yet, I have the biggest heart in the world.
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Exposure to a diversity of disciplines has been exceptionally helpful to me.
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Now that mobile phones and the internet have altered the epistemic selective landscape in a revolutionary way, every religious organisation must scramble to evolve defences or become extinct.
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Compared to how I have raced before and how I have competed, the success that I have had, this does look like doom compared to it.
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Intelligence is sexy. Don't play dumb, especially young girls. Don't play dumb. And let people see that you are intelligent.
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I'm not afraid to call a wine that tastes like Skittles or green peppers mixed with orange marmalade. I'll say, 'It tastes like chicken.' I mean, that's not what people think of when they think of wine, but that's what it tastes like to me and it hits home.
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I'm very intelligent. I'm capable of doing everything put to me. I've launched a perfume and want my own hotel chain. I'm living proof blondes are not stupid.
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One must act in painting as in life, directly.
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It has been a great working experience with Sreenu Vaitla.
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I think it's a fundamental responsibility of the federal government to enforce our nation's borders.
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The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.
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Losing is no fun no matter who you lose to.
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Well, you know, Thomas Jefferson, who was the author of the Declaration of Independence said he wouldn't have any atheists in his cabinet because atheists wouldn't swear an oath to God. That was Jefferson and we have never had any Muslims in the cabinet.
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For some people, miracles serve as evidence of God's existence.
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I don't mind dating younger men now.
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Everyone has got to realise you can't hold onto the past if you want any future. Each second should lead to the next one.
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I took office as president in January 2003, and in April 2003, I sent to Congress my first proposal for tax reform. Some parts were voted on, with respect to federal taxes, and then it came to a standstill. Why? Because each state is interested in its own tax reform, has its own tax policy, and each state has its federal deputies and senators.
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I decided about a year ago, and I just feel like I want to see more personal style in people, and I feel like if I'm going to be out there in the public eye, they should see who I am and how I dress, and I feel like it, also.
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The funny thing is, when I ask people with dark skin if they would change their color, they tell me no, and when I ask women if they would rather be men, they tell me no, and I get the same response when I ask people with unusual anatomies if they would take a magic pill to erase their unusual features.
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Writers tend to write stories as a kind of holiday between novels, or as preliminary steps towards a novel. Stories just don't often make up a writer's main body of work, and that's not because they don't see the market for it.
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Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.
