Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I don't carry a wallet. I keep my cards in my pocket and cash in my boots.
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Where you have the most armed citizens in America, you have the lowest violent crime rate. Where you have the worst gun control, you have the highest crime rate.
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I'm the complete opposite of every clean cut, decent-looking guy you could ever think of. Yet, I have the biggest heart in the world.
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Exposure to a diversity of disciplines has been exceptionally helpful to me.
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Now that mobile phones and the internet have altered the epistemic selective landscape in a revolutionary way, every religious organisation must scramble to evolve defences or become extinct.
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Compared to how I have raced before and how I have competed, the success that I have had, this does look like doom compared to it.
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Intelligence is sexy. Don't play dumb, especially young girls. Don't play dumb. And let people see that you are intelligent.
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I'm not afraid to call a wine that tastes like Skittles or green peppers mixed with orange marmalade. I'll say, 'It tastes like chicken.' I mean, that's not what people think of when they think of wine, but that's what it tastes like to me and it hits home.
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I'm very intelligent. I'm capable of doing everything put to me. I've launched a perfume and want my own hotel chain. I'm living proof blondes are not stupid.
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One must act in painting as in life, directly.
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It has been a great working experience with Sreenu Vaitla.
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I think it's a fundamental responsibility of the federal government to enforce our nation's borders.
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The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.
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Losing is no fun no matter who you lose to.
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Well, you know, Thomas Jefferson, who was the author of the Declaration of Independence said he wouldn't have any atheists in his cabinet because atheists wouldn't swear an oath to God. That was Jefferson and we have never had any Muslims in the cabinet.
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For some people, miracles serve as evidence of God's existence.
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I don't mind dating younger men now.
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It's been interesting seeing how vulnerable Obama is: not the secure president I thought he was or the strong leader that many people hoped he would be. He's a conciliator. But I've been listening to the Republican primary debates, and they're a bunch of lunatics. Just crazy.
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Pop culture, it's crazy. There's all this violence in video games. In 'Call of Duty,' people are literally just blowing other people up. Hey, let's protect your country from your couch while eating your sandwich.
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There's so many things that people do on a daily basis that they do as a way of defining who they are. But really, what defines who you are is when circumstances push you to the edge.
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I ignore Hallmark Holidays. And this comes from a guy who has sold a million Opus greeting cards.
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Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.
