Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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By the end of high school, I would do shows at the theater at night and then take the train home and go to school the next morning.
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I don't carry a wallet. I keep my cards in my pocket and cash in my boots.
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America makes prodigious mistakes, America has colossal faults, but one thing cannot be denied: America is always on the move. She may be going to Hell, of course, but at least she isn't standing still.
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Where you have the most armed citizens in America, you have the lowest violent crime rate. Where you have the worst gun control, you have the highest crime rate.
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I'm the complete opposite of every clean cut, decent-looking guy you could ever think of. Yet, I have the biggest heart in the world.
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Exposure to a diversity of disciplines has been exceptionally helpful to me.
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Now that mobile phones and the internet have altered the epistemic selective landscape in a revolutionary way, every religious organisation must scramble to evolve defences or become extinct.
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Compared to how I have raced before and how I have competed, the success that I have had, this does look like doom compared to it.
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Intelligence is sexy. Don't play dumb, especially young girls. Don't play dumb. And let people see that you are intelligent.
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I'm not afraid to call a wine that tastes like Skittles or green peppers mixed with orange marmalade. I'll say, 'It tastes like chicken.' I mean, that's not what people think of when they think of wine, but that's what it tastes like to me and it hits home.
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I'm very intelligent. I'm capable of doing everything put to me. I've launched a perfume and want my own hotel chain. I'm living proof blondes are not stupid.
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As long as I love Beauty I am young.
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One must act in painting as in life, directly.
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It has been a great working experience with Sreenu Vaitla.
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When you forgive somebody, it doesn't necessarily mean you want to invite them to your table.
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I think it's a fundamental responsibility of the federal government to enforce our nation's borders.
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I saw this thing years ago, where somebody filled a gymnasium with ping-pong balls and mousetraps. And then somebody threw just one more ping-pong ball in there, and literally, in five seconds, the room was popping. And then it was dead. And that's how it was with 'Dallas.' Just... 'boom!'
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The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.
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Losing is no fun no matter who you lose to.
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It was a small mistake Sometimes that is all it takes.
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Certain black leaders would believe that you have to go through their prism: 'If I lay my hand on you, you're OK.' So many people have made a living off of the pimping of race.
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The people running Silicon Valley are not making the show because they want to do a satire of Silicon Valley. They are just comedy writers, and they want to make a funny show.
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Hey, people who travel with their bed pillow. You look insane.
