Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."

Quotes to Explore
-
He said, 'From then on, I realized that I was not just abandoned. I was chosen. I was special.' And I think that's the key to understanding Steve Jobs.
-
I tweeted once, and I still stick to this, that I would love to marry a Croatian girl. I want my children to speak Croatian first, and for them to do that, we need someone who speaks very good Croatian.
-
Perhaps things are not things but words: metaphors, words for other things.
-
My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.
-
Leaders know the importance of having someone in their lives who will unfailingly and fearlessly tell them the truth.
-
I believe that athletes - especially female athletes in the world's leading sport for women - should serve as role models.
-
I like to have something to base a role on.
-
I enjoyed my time in the WRAF. There were plenty of people at the airfields where I worked, and they were all very good company.
-
Fifty-million-dollar movies gobble up the medium movies. A lot of people aren't working in Hollywood because of this.
-
From a social networking point of view, Pakistan is not very far away.
-
Sometimes I think sportsmanship is a little bit forgotten in place of the individual attention.
-
I could play for the worst team if they paid the most... If the last-place team offers $200 million and the first-place team offers $10, I'm going to go for the $200-million no matter what team it was.
-
It's so much easier to like people, and to let people in, to trust them until they prove that you should do otherwise. The alternative is being an iceberg.
-
Sometimes when we label something dystopian fiction, I feel like we're trying very hard not to use the words 'science fiction,' because science fiction has those horrible connotations of rocket ships and bodacious babes.
-
Every American, I think, should be able to fill out their taxes on a postcard.
-
Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.
-
I'm not really that interested in going back to playing small supporting roles.
-
I don't do rewrites. I put all the pages in a pile next to the typewriter.
-
If the egotist is weak, his egotism is worthless. If the egotist is strong, acute, full of distinctive character, his egotism is precious, and remains a possession of the race.
-
The artistic capability of reinforced concrete is so fantastic - that is the way to go.
-
When all else is lost, the future still remains.
-
As long as government is allowed to collect all Internet data, the perceived exigency will drive honest civil servants to reach more broadly and deeply into our networked lives.
-
I didn't have parents I could take a million dollars from. We were a lower-class family.
-
Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."