Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."
Quotes to Explore
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He said, 'From then on, I realized that I was not just abandoned. I was chosen. I was special.' And I think that's the key to understanding Steve Jobs.
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A lot of the time I'm working with people who are older than me.
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I tweeted once, and I still stick to this, that I would love to marry a Croatian girl. I want my children to speak Croatian first, and for them to do that, we need someone who speaks very good Croatian.
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Perhaps things are not things but words: metaphors, words for other things.
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My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.
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Leaders know the importance of having someone in their lives who will unfailingly and fearlessly tell them the truth.
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I believe that athletes - especially female athletes in the world's leading sport for women - should serve as role models.
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I like to have something to base a role on.
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I do want to finish my education. I just don't think that Boston has a big enough market for what I want to do.
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I enjoyed my time in the WRAF. There were plenty of people at the airfields where I worked, and they were all very good company.
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Fifty-million-dollar movies gobble up the medium movies. A lot of people aren't working in Hollywood because of this.
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From a social networking point of view, Pakistan is not very far away.
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Sometimes I think sportsmanship is a little bit forgotten in place of the individual attention.
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I could play for the worst team if they paid the most... If the last-place team offers $200 million and the first-place team offers $10, I'm going to go for the $200-million no matter what team it was.
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It's so much easier to like people, and to let people in, to trust them until they prove that you should do otherwise. The alternative is being an iceberg.
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Sometimes when we label something dystopian fiction, I feel like we're trying very hard not to use the words 'science fiction,' because science fiction has those horrible connotations of rocket ships and bodacious babes.
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Every American, I think, should be able to fill out their taxes on a postcard.
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Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.
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People don't realize that I started in musical theater. That's where my roots are.
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There can be no darker or more devastating tragedy than the death of man's faith in himself and in his power to direct his future.
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My favorite cut is probably "Drink of Choice," and it was done by Bryan Michael Cox, it's a metaphorical type song, about a woman being a drink. I'll let your mind wander with that one.
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I'm going to go to work out, and I'm going to enjoy it, and I'm going to eat really healthy. But I'm going to go to Vegas, and I'm going to stop at In-N-Out Burger, and then I'll be back on track.
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Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."
