Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."
Quotes to Explore
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He said, 'From then on, I realized that I was not just abandoned. I was chosen. I was special.' And I think that's the key to understanding Steve Jobs.
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A lot of the time I'm working with people who are older than me.
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I tweeted once, and I still stick to this, that I would love to marry a Croatian girl. I want my children to speak Croatian first, and for them to do that, we need someone who speaks very good Croatian.
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Perhaps things are not things but words: metaphors, words for other things.
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My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.
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Leaders know the importance of having someone in their lives who will unfailingly and fearlessly tell them the truth.
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I believe that athletes - especially female athletes in the world's leading sport for women - should serve as role models.
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I like to have something to base a role on.
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I do want to finish my education. I just don't think that Boston has a big enough market for what I want to do.
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I enjoyed my time in the WRAF. There were plenty of people at the airfields where I worked, and they were all very good company.
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Fifty-million-dollar movies gobble up the medium movies. A lot of people aren't working in Hollywood because of this.
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From a social networking point of view, Pakistan is not very far away.
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Sometimes I think sportsmanship is a little bit forgotten in place of the individual attention.
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I could play for the worst team if they paid the most... If the last-place team offers $200 million and the first-place team offers $10, I'm going to go for the $200-million no matter what team it was.
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It's so much easier to like people, and to let people in, to trust them until they prove that you should do otherwise. The alternative is being an iceberg.
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Sometimes when we label something dystopian fiction, I feel like we're trying very hard not to use the words 'science fiction,' because science fiction has those horrible connotations of rocket ships and bodacious babes.
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Every American, I think, should be able to fill out their taxes on a postcard.
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Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.
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Happiness requires that we give up a worldly orientation-not worldly things, but a worldly attachment to things. We have to surrender all outcomes. We have to live here but appreciate the joke.
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It's funny how things change slowly, until the day we realize they've changed completely.
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I think since I was kid people told me that they thought I was funny.
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What's hardest for me to swallow is when there is a love story, say, with a really high-profile male star and there's no reason I can't play the part. They say, 'Oh, we love Halle, we just don't want to go black with this part.'
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If the husband sits on a chair in the Garden of Eden, his wife is his footstool.
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Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."
