Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."
Quotes to Explore
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He said, 'From then on, I realized that I was not just abandoned. I was chosen. I was special.' And I think that's the key to understanding Steve Jobs.
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A lot of the time I'm working with people who are older than me.
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I tweeted once, and I still stick to this, that I would love to marry a Croatian girl. I want my children to speak Croatian first, and for them to do that, we need someone who speaks very good Croatian.
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Perhaps things are not things but words: metaphors, words for other things.
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My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.
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Leaders know the importance of having someone in their lives who will unfailingly and fearlessly tell them the truth.
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I believe that athletes - especially female athletes in the world's leading sport for women - should serve as role models.
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I like to have something to base a role on.
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I do want to finish my education. I just don't think that Boston has a big enough market for what I want to do.
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I enjoyed my time in the WRAF. There were plenty of people at the airfields where I worked, and they were all very good company.
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Fifty-million-dollar movies gobble up the medium movies. A lot of people aren't working in Hollywood because of this.
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From a social networking point of view, Pakistan is not very far away.
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Sometimes I think sportsmanship is a little bit forgotten in place of the individual attention.
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I could play for the worst team if they paid the most... If the last-place team offers $200 million and the first-place team offers $10, I'm going to go for the $200-million no matter what team it was.
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It's so much easier to like people, and to let people in, to trust them until they prove that you should do otherwise. The alternative is being an iceberg.
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Sometimes when we label something dystopian fiction, I feel like we're trying very hard not to use the words 'science fiction,' because science fiction has those horrible connotations of rocket ships and bodacious babes.
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Every American, I think, should be able to fill out their taxes on a postcard.
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Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.
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Sometimes it leads me even to hesitate whether I am strictly correct in my idea that all men are born to equal rights, for their conduct seems to me to contravene the doctrine.
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If the government regulates against use of drones or stem cells or artificial intelligence, all that means is that the work and the research leave the borders of that country and go someplace else.
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Television tends to be a more difficult medium for me to get my head around sometimes when it comes to certain things I get offered.
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People are like, 'Wow you started your own record label,' and treat me like I'm some sort of innovative genius, when I'm not at all. You've got the Internet and music - you put them together, and people hear your music.
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Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."
