Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."
Quotes to Explore
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He said, 'From then on, I realized that I was not just abandoned. I was chosen. I was special.' And I think that's the key to understanding Steve Jobs.
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I tweeted once, and I still stick to this, that I would love to marry a Croatian girl. I want my children to speak Croatian first, and for them to do that, we need someone who speaks very good Croatian.
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Perhaps things are not things but words: metaphors, words for other things.
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My friends tell me I have an intimacy problem. But they don't really know me.
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Leaders know the importance of having someone in their lives who will unfailingly and fearlessly tell them the truth.
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I believe that athletes - especially female athletes in the world's leading sport for women - should serve as role models.
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I like to have something to base a role on.
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I enjoyed my time in the WRAF. There were plenty of people at the airfields where I worked, and they were all very good company.
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Fifty-million-dollar movies gobble up the medium movies. A lot of people aren't working in Hollywood because of this.
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From a social networking point of view, Pakistan is not very far away.
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Sometimes I think sportsmanship is a little bit forgotten in place of the individual attention.
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I could play for the worst team if they paid the most... If the last-place team offers $200 million and the first-place team offers $10, I'm going to go for the $200-million no matter what team it was.
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It's so much easier to like people, and to let people in, to trust them until they prove that you should do otherwise. The alternative is being an iceberg.
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Sometimes when we label something dystopian fiction, I feel like we're trying very hard not to use the words 'science fiction,' because science fiction has those horrible connotations of rocket ships and bodacious babes.
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Every American, I think, should be able to fill out their taxes on a postcard.
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Don't watch the clock; do what it does. Keep going.
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I'm not really that interested in going back to playing small supporting roles.
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I don't do rewrites. I put all the pages in a pile next to the typewriter.
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Edward Snowden may not be a Chinese mole, but he might as well be. He's just handed Beijing a major score, while the NSA struggles to pick up the pieces - and the rest of us pay the price in terms of future national security.
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Am I not ninja enough? Are you saying that I lack ninja?
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I like the idea of sending my Aquazurra girls out with a lucky charm under their feet.
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The only way physical comedy works is if you don't see it coming. And the harder the fall, the funnier it is. You have to really take some shots, and I've walked away with some bumps and bruises.
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The last thing in the world I should have done was go into the theater because was inordinately shy as a young man. I couldn't open my mouth. At a party, I was the one stuck up against the wall. I was embarrassed about talking. I felt that I couldn't talk well.
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Do you ever leave a message for somebody and the answering machine cuts you off, and you have to decide whether you should not call back, or call back and appear like a stalker? "Hi. It's me again. I forgot to tell you that I'm going to kill you. Because I'm the freak who keeps calling and calling."
