Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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I doubt if you can have a truly wild party without liquor.
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In the experience of art, time seems not to exist.
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It is common knowledge that smoking is considered one of the nation's leading causes of preventable death, but it's less widely known that cigarettes are also the leading cause of fatal fires.
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When you are not missing something, longing for something, you don't really think about it that much. It's like that girlfriend you don't want to have anymore. You don't think about her anymore. Or ex-husband. You just don't.
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I'm completely open about the fact that I don't love every genre of metal. I like what I like. It's got to have some vocal quality and some semblance of melody.
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Kids are naturally gifted at art from a very young age. The problem is when they get older and become self-conscious. The process should always be fun, though.
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When you're young, you're stupid.
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It is better to look ahead and prepare than to look back and regret.
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If I go out in the open ocean environment, virtually anywhere in the world, and I drag a net from 3,000 feet to the surface, most of the animals - in fact, in many places, 80 to 90 percent of the animals that I bring up in that net - make light. This makes for some pretty spectacular light shows.
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Sometimes I think sportsmanship is a little bit forgotten in place of the individual attention.
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When I am getting ready to reason with a man, I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself and what I am going to say and two-thirds about him and what he is going to say.
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Every night that I put my head on the pillow, I go to sleep knowing that I can do more. I'm working toward perfection. I'm trying to be the best ever.
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Sometimes when we label something dystopian fiction, I feel like we're trying very hard not to use the words 'science fiction,' because science fiction has those horrible connotations of rocket ships and bodacious babes.
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I would love to live in India or in the South of France, but Roger Vivier doesn't have offices yet in New Delhi or Jaipur.
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I'm not really that interested in going back to playing small supporting roles.
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I think it's more important to be fit so that you can be healthy and enjoy activities than it is to have a good body.
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Of course I want to have a family, but there's a right time for everything. When my time comes, it will happen.
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I don't think I'm severely politically active. I care deeply, and I have my strong personal beliefs. I think America is dancing on thin ice. But I think it's bigger even than a political issue. I wonder about the evolution of the human race and spirit and what our goals and reasons for living are.
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So as the years draw on toward the Biblical limit, the inclination to look back, and to tell some sort of story of what one has seen, grows upon most of us.
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I don't think there's any excuse for not being able to put on a beautiful product and make yourself feel fabulous. Just have some key pieces in your wardrobe that aren't seasonal.
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I was doing comedy in laundry mats in 1992, literally where I would bring a little gorilla amp and a lapel mike and just start performing.
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Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
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I have, I think, eight mentors. It's crazy, but I need them. They are all really important to me. They keep me grounded and advise me.
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The DC Improv food is amazingly edible for a comedy club.
