Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Is there a homeless guy built in to the design of Dunkin' Donuts? ...There'll be an entrance here... a deranged lunatic here.

Quotes to Explore
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All I wanted to do was be a working actor.
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I don't think Bosnia is ready for reconciliation, but I do think it is ready for truth.
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I don't hit it very far; I don't overpower a golf course, but I think I'm a pretty decent putter. At Augusta National, putting is premium.
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In my experience an appreciative letter from a fellow writer means a lot.
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Compromise, contrary to popular opinion, does not mean selling out one's principles. Compromise means working out differences to forge a solution which fits the diversity of the body politic.
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When you carry out acts of kindness you get a wonderful feeling inside. It is as though something inside your body responds and says, yes, this is how I ought to feel.
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I hate to repeat lines, to say the same damned thing. I try to rewrite cliches and make what I say sound fresh.
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I went to my boss, and I said, 'Look, I'd like to design these ties because I think they could be new.' He said, 'The world isn't ready for Ralph Lauren.' I never forgot that because... I thought that was a compliment.
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England was the first true colonial power to use its dominion over a large part of Africa, the Middle East, Asia, Australia, North America, and many Caribbean islands, in the first half of the 20th century.
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The important thing is to be there, score when needed. It's better if the goals are beautiful, better still if they are important.
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When a guy tells me I'm cute, it's not something desirable. Cute is more like what you want your pet to be.
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Girls shouldn't drink because their bodies are not made for drinking and smoking.
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Everything starts as somebody's daydream.
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I didn't hang around films. I don't know if I'd ever seen Hitchcock's The Lady Vanishes.
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Living in Cape Breton, it's really all about fiddle music, so it's not like there were other instruments out there that tempted me and it was like I had to decide which one. It was automatically fiddle, because it's the predominant instrument in Cape Breton Island.
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Each day more coalition MPs in seats outside the South East come out against George Osborne's regional pay cut plans, and Vince Cable now claims they are dead.
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We are all human beings, and our nationality is simply an accident of birth.
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To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.
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You might call me an accidental entrepreneur.
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We need to stop flying, stop driving cars and jetting around on marine recreational vehicles.
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The need to be loved and protected is at a peak when we feel abandoned and are particularly vulnerable to difficult circumstances.
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If you can get to know a person, and you can really understand them, it can usually help you better understand yourself and why you believe what you believe.
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A strong woman is a woman at work, cleaning out the cesspool of the ages, and while she shovels, she talks about how she doesn't mind crying, it opens the ducts of the eyes, and throwing up develops the stomach muscles, and she goes on shoveling with tears in her nose.
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Is there a homeless guy built in to the design of Dunkin' Donuts? ...There'll be an entrance here... a deranged lunatic here.