Jim Gaffigan Quotes

I'm a weirdo that goes on stage to make strangers laugh, but if I wasn't working, I would just want to be with my wife and kids. I don't even think I'd want to go out to dinner.

Jim Gaffigan

• Thinking
• Kids
• Wife
• Laughing
• Stranger

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Quotes to Explore

• I'm guilty of it myself, sort of thinking, 'Classic novels: snoozeville.' But there is a huge amount of wonderful material.

  

  Natasha Little
  • Thinking
  • Myself
  • Guilty

• Sometimes the kids come up with better endings than the real story.

  

  Gail Carson Levine
  • Up
  • Real
  • Kids

• People say, 'Oh, politics is so polarized today,' and I'm thinking... '1861, that was polarized.'

  

  P. J. O'Rourke
  • People
  • Thinking
  • Today

• I've never really lived a conventional life, so I think it's quite foolish for me or anyone else to start thinking that I am going to start making conventional choices.

  

  Madonna Breakfast Club
  • Life
  • Thinking
  • Choices

• I am an independent, strong-willed, free, and unfettered individual who lets his wife decide for him what he wants to eat.

  

  W. Bruce Cameron
  • Strong
  • Wife
  • Independent

• I love working with kids, talking with them and listening to them. I always encourage kids to reach beyond their dreams. Don't try to be like me. Be better than me.

  

  Florence Griffith Joyner
  • Kids
  • Like
  • Better

• I love doing kids' films.

  

  Ioan Gruffudd
  • Kids
  • Doing
  • Films

• When you're first reading the script and thinking about playing the part, it's slightly daunting. It's easy to question, 'Is an audience going to like me? And is that my job?'

  

  Laura Dern
  • Thinking
  • Job
  • Reading

• Bringing GIS into schools gets the kids very excited and indirectly teaches them different components of STEM education. That's been illustrated at school after school.

  

  Jack Dangermond
  • Different
  • School
  • Kids

• I think that a lot of kids today focus on impressing each other. And while that's really nice, you also have to think about your future, about getting into a good school.

  

  Kara Hayward
  • Good
  • School
  • Kids

• More than 200,000 kids have had their lives transformed by ARK. I use that word properly.

  

  Ian Wace
  • Kids
  • More
  • Word

• The nice thing about writing at home is that it's almost as though I'm doing it already. I get out of bed thinking of my work, and I don't have to go anywhere to do it.

  

  Patrick deWitt
  • Work
  • Thinking
  • Writing

• My dad doesn't get any of my jokes. He laughs at them, but he doesn't understand them. He's just laughing because people around him are laughing.

  

  Zach Galifianakis
  • People
  • Dad
  • Understand

• Google owns YouTube, and recently, I drew a comic about an idea for a YouTube feature - which they actually took seriously and implemented. So I'm thinking that maybe we'll have a future where Google is 'xkcd.'

  

  Randall Munroe
  • Thinking
  • Future
  • Google

• We look at science as something very elite, which only a few people can learn. That's just not true. You just have to start early and give kids a foundation. Kids live up, or down, to expectations.

  

  Mae Jemison
  • People
  • Up
  • Live

• Steampunk is not a group of children in a classroom, sitting quietly while the teacher reads a story; it's the kids at recess, playing a wild, endless game of pretend.

  

  Kaja Foglio
  • Children
  • Kids
  • Game

• Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.

  

  Zig Ziglar
  • Wife
  • Husband
  • Better

• But my kids, my brothers' kids - they think about trying to top what we did.

  

  Damon Wayans
  • Trying
  • Kids
  • Think

• I vividly remember watching women in films when I was nine or 10, picturing them being what I'd be like as an adult. I had these real female crushes on certain actresses. And I'd watch them, thinking, 'One day, I'll be that. One day I'll be a woman.'

  

  Alicia Vikander
  • Thinking
  • Women
  • Real

• With the possible exception of God during the writing of the Bible, every writer in history has needed an editor. So do you.

  

  Donald Davis
  • God
  • Writing
  • History

• What Obamacare does is decreases choices and drives up cost.

  

  Ted Cruz
  • Up
  • Choices
  • Cost

• You have to focus hard on recording songs that you believe in.

  

  Trisha Yearwood
  • Believe
  • Focus

• My daughters been picked up so many times she's starting to grow handles.

  

  Jack Roy
  • Up
  • She
  • Daughters

• I'm a weirdo that goes on stage to make strangers laugh, but if I wasn't working, I would just want to be with my wife and kids. I don't even think I'd want to go out to dinner.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Thinking
  • Kids
  • Wife