W. Bruce Cameron Quotes
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Your neighbors will be envious of your 3D printer - and if they're not, just print new neighbors. Design them so they'll like to bring you pies, maybe, or want to do your yard work for you.
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The 'Dog's Purpose' premise has gotten me so many emails and comments from people who say that their dog is so much like one they had when they were young or years before, that it seems like the truth. The idea that you would come across an old friend later in life.
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During the holidays, I often see my sisters, who still, even after all these years, can't always seem to agree with me. They take silly, indefensible positions, such as denying that my parents loved me more because I was the better child.
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It's never easy to adapt a book, especially as the author, because it's as if you're chopping off appendages. It really feels painful to decide what has to go.
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I know it sounds strange, but I'm one of those people who goes to a coffee shop to drink coffee.
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Without a dog, you'd never have anyone demonstrate how important it is to stop every day and smell the roses... and then lift your leg on them.
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When you have a half slice of chocolate pie, it's as if you owe yourself the other half - what's known in medical circles as a 'caloric deficit.'
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There are apparently three factors that lead to longevity: heredity, habits, and what your wife will let you get away with.
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The first cellphone I owned was hardly a slim, high-tech device - it was more like a brick with buttons, only with worse reception. If you wanted to use your phone to give someone a message, you were better off throwing it at him and hoping you broke his car window.
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I am an independent, strong-willed, free, and unfettered individual who lets his wife decide for him what he wants to eat.
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With my book 'How to Remodel a Man,' I was on 'Oprah,' 'Fox News,' 'The Early Show,' and 'Good Morning America.' 'Oprah' was the best - an hour long segment. TV is so short, you answer a few questions, and then it's over. It feels like a hit-and-run with a camera.
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Without a dog, I would have tassels on my throw pillows instead of little stubs of yarn that look like small worms. The pillows seem to function just fine without the tassels, so perhaps it isn't a problem.
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Without a dog, you'll be without at least one creature who thinks you are the smartest, most decent and heroic human being on the planet.
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Parenting is difficult under any circumstances, and in my father's view, to raise a morally upright and honest child, you sometimes have to lie to him.
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An ice-fishing shanty is basically a tin outhouse on a frozen lake, except that in an outhouse, the hole has a purpose. In ice fishing, the hole is what you stare at for hours, hoping that at some point you'll break the monotony by falling in.
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My body believes a famine is imminent and has begun stocking up on provisions. These supplies are being stored around my waistline. I've tried explaining to my stomach that this is entirely unnecessary: I've never once, not even when I was in college and more broke than the E.U., done any actual starving.
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I think, of all the holidays we celebrate, my least favorite is Earth Day. For one thing, I never know what sort of gift is appropriate. A jar of dirt, maybe? And it's not clear to me why Earth even needs a 'day,' since a spin on its axis creates a day. That's like giving a man who owns a shoe store a gift of a pair of shoes.
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The Internet has turned the world into one gigantic linked community, capable of instantly sharing vast amounts of incorrect information.
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Not too many people know it, but when I was in junior high, I was a pretty tough kid and was the leader of a street gang. Well, OK, it was less a street gang than an Ecology Club. We were pretty intimidating, though, and had our own meeting room until we got run out of there by a bunch of thugs from the Poetry Society.
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My mother taught me to drive using the 'Detroit Method,' where speed limits and traffic lights are taken as cute suggestions.
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Communicating with teenage girls is easy unless you're an adult, and then it's like having someone take a pair of pliers and, one-by-one, yank off your fingernails through your ears.
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I was riding my mountain bike in Colorado, and I met a dog who reminded me so much of my very first dog, in the way she interacted with me, looked at me, and wagged her tail, that I rode away convinced I'd just very possibly met the reincarnated version of my long lost friend.
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Throughout the day, my phone will variously chirp, burp and growl - it's like living with a velociraptor. The last time I went to try to shut it off, the thing bit me.
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I don't think my father considered allowing a teenager to follow his dreams was necessarily good parenting, or even parenting. I think he thought I was a teenager with teenage impulses. I'm pretty sure he knew that if he just let me follow those impulses, it would wind up being very expensive and perhaps even life-endangering.