Jim Gaffigan Quotes

You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

Jim Gaffigan

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Quotes to Explore

• It's funny because when I'm outside Australia, I never get to do my Australian accent in anything. It's always a Danish accent or an English accent or an American accent.

  

  Mallory Jansen
  • American
  • Funny
  • English

• If I hear a lie in my life with my children, with my wife, my work, my audiences, I want to annihilate myself, vaporize myself and wipe myself off the face of the earth.

  

  Mandy Patinkin
  • Life
  • Work
  • Children

• When I am writing a story it feels as real as the life I am experiencing off the page. It's an emotional illusion, I guess.

  

  Tayari Jones
  • Life
  • Writing
  • Emotional

• I write songs about things that I'm simultaneously trying to not think about.

  

  Warren Zevon
  • Trying

• If you want a strong society, it has to be inclusive. If you have to push a boulder up a hill, do you want 10 people or 100? If you weed out colour or gender, you get 10.

  

  Cyndi Lauper Blue Angel
  • People
  • Up
  • Society

• If you saw me without makeup, you wouldn't recognize me.

  

  Cyndi Lauper Blue Angel
  • Makeup
  • Saws

• If I came across a role that is completely mainstream and commercial, but it's the right one, I'd jump at the chance.

  

  Kylie Minogue
  • Chance
  • Jump
  • Role

• It dawned on me, the enormity of my situation. I was, in fact, the catalyst for it all. That feeling has stayed with me ever since.

  

  Lonnie Donegan
  • Feeling
  • Situation
  • Catalyst

• My friends call me 'Dolittle One' [a reference to her physical stature and affinity for animals].

  

  Gloria Estefan Miami Sound Machine
  • Friends
  • Animal
  • Affinity

• I heard Davey Havok has a brand of eyeliner out now... its AFI-liner

  

  Billie Joe Armstrong Green Day
  • Brand
  • Davey Havok
  • AFI-liner

• I don't believe in luck. ... It's persistence, hard work, and not forgetting your dream.

  

  Janet Jackson
  • Work
  • Believe
  • Dream

• We can all be more consistently involved in missionary work by replacing our fear with real faith.

  

  M. Russell Ballard
  • Work
  • Real
  • Fear

• My name is not Susan, so watch what you say. If you still need her, then be on your way.

  

  Whitney Houston
  • Relationship
  • Needs
  • Stills

• You can have a lot of New York and still see what's going on in the rest of the world, I think - like in China.

  

  Diana Ross
  • World
  • Thinking
  • Rest

• When I saw myself with barely any makeup at, it was such a… like, I'm so, so attached to my pink lipstick, it's hard. I feel that it's become a part of me. To go in front of the camera, without pink lips or big ol' crazy lashes — you know, nothing — I felt naked. It was scary! So this photo shoot was a real accomplishment in my eyes.

  

  Nicki Minaj
  • Real
  • Eyes
  • Crazy

• Results aside, the ability to have complete faith in another human being is one of the finest qualities a person can possess.

  

  Haruki Murakami

• Very many maintain that all we know is still infinitely less than all that still remains unknown.

  

  William Harvey
  • Knowledge
  • Knows
  • Stills

• I think with each record, I don't know ... they're like burdens.

  

  Matt Shultz Cage the Elephant
  • Thinking
  • Knows
  • Records

• When words become a poem, it makes sense to me, but I don't know how to explain to someone why the words are the way they are. It's just the logic of the poem to me.

  

  Sarah Kay
  • Way
  • Knows
  • Logic

• You wanna know how good bacon is? To improve other food, they wrap it in bacon.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Knows
  • Wraps