Jim Gaffigan Quotes
It's a balancing act of you feel horrible that you're away but there is something about the road that is rather liberating.

Quotes to Explore
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I've always felt that a person's intelligence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting points of view he can entertain simultaneously on the same topic.
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In middle school, I had an '87 Regal. That was unheard of.
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O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
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I don't keep any copies of my books in the house - they go to my mum's flat. I don't like them around.
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Let's just say the genes were there for me to excel athletically.
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I'm really into personalities. There have been certain girls that I've been attracted to, but when we got to chatting, it was such a let-down. So for me, a great personality is key.
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It is those who concentrates on but one thing at a time who advance in this world. The great man or woman is the one who never steps outside his or her specialty or foolishly dissipates his or her individuality.
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I once had dinner with Madonna and I wasn't nervous but within about a minute I found myself talking about underwear.
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I bite the hell out of my fingernails. I can't stop. I should stop. It would be nice to grow my fingernails out. It would be healthier. I could pick up dimes.
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Every time you play a bad girl or guy in a movie, you really come from a place of pain.
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When someone is being particularly mean and nasty, I simply think to myself, He or she used to be a cute little baby, I wonder what happened?
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I love inappropriate humour. What else are you going to do? You have to laugh.
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I think that's it's really important to have good friends. Nowadays, you can text 24 hours a day and be in constant contact, but every once in a while, it's nice to just get out with your girlfriends and have fun.
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I am alone here in New York, no longer a we.
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Sometimes your dreams come true, and it's a real drag.
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Stormtrooper MelĀ : Don't be stupid, be a smarty Come and join the Nazi Party!
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Imagination tends to be truly useful if accompanied by the power of mental control - if the worlds in one's head can be purposefully manipulated and distinguished from the real one outside it.
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I don't speak particularly well. That's one of the consequences of being extremely ugly.
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As I never saw my father or my mother, and never saw any likeness of either of them (for their days were long before the days of photographs), my first fancies regarding what they were like, were unreasonably derived from their tombstones. The shape of the letters on my father's, gave me an odd idea that he was a square, stout, dark man, with curly black hair. From the character and turn of the inscription, "Also Georgiana Wife of the Above", I drew a childish conclusion that my mother was freckled and sickly.
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I'm no good with chords. I'm horrible with chords.
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If I was a woman in Russia, I would be a lesbian, as the men are very ugly. There are a few handsome ones, like Naomi Campbell's boyfriend, but there you see the most beautiful women and the most horrible men.
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[My art is] capable of liberating man from the tyranny of the 'practical, rational world.'
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It's horrible getting older. I mean, it's wonderful because you see the circles of life get completed. But it's horrible losing your looks.
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It's a balancing act of you feel horrible that you're away but there is something about the road that is rather liberating.