Jim Gaffigan Quotes
It's a balancing act of you feel horrible that you're away but there is something about the road that is rather liberating.

Quotes to Explore
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I've always felt that a person's intelligence is directly reflected by the number of conflicting points of view he can entertain simultaneously on the same topic.
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In middle school, I had an '87 Regal. That was unheard of.
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O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.
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I don't keep any copies of my books in the house - they go to my mum's flat. I don't like them around.
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Let's just say the genes were there for me to excel athletically.
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I'm really into personalities. There have been certain girls that I've been attracted to, but when we got to chatting, it was such a let-down. So for me, a great personality is key.
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It is those who concentrates on but one thing at a time who advance in this world. The great man or woman is the one who never steps outside his or her specialty or foolishly dissipates his or her individuality.
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I once had dinner with Madonna and I wasn't nervous but within about a minute I found myself talking about underwear.
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I bite the hell out of my fingernails. I can't stop. I should stop. It would be nice to grow my fingernails out. It would be healthier. I could pick up dimes.
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Every time you play a bad girl or guy in a movie, you really come from a place of pain.
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The world as a whole is full of problems and difficulties and it is most important that every country which loves its Freedom and wants to maintain its Independence and sovereignty should work for peace and try to see that there is disarmament in the world which alone will lead to real peace.
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When someone is being particularly mean and nasty, I simply think to myself, He or she used to be a cute little baby, I wonder what happened?
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I love inappropriate humour. What else are you going to do? You have to laugh.
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I think that's it's really important to have good friends. Nowadays, you can text 24 hours a day and be in constant contact, but every once in a while, it's nice to just get out with your girlfriends and have fun.
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I am alone here in New York, no longer a we.
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Sometimes your dreams come true, and it's a real drag.
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Stormtrooper MelĀ : Don't be stupid, be a smarty Come and join the Nazi Party!
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Imagination tends to be truly useful if accompanied by the power of mental control - if the worlds in one's head can be purposefully manipulated and distinguished from the real one outside it.
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I don't speak particularly well. That's one of the consequences of being extremely ugly.
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Pen-and-paper role-playing is live theater and computer games are television. People want the convenience and instant gratification of turning on the TV rather than getting dressed up and going out to see a live play. In the same way, the computer is a more immediately accessible way to play games.
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I don't really have a fear of doctors, in the sense that they're going to do something bad to me. I don't have a fear of them eating me, or a fear of needles, or anything like that. I have a fear that I'm feeling completely fine, everything's good, and then when I go there, he's going to tell me something horrible.
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A loss of any kind is horrible. Not because it takes away, but because it makes you believe- in newspapers, in tomatoes, in empty whiskey bottles.
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It's a balancing act of you feel horrible that you're away but there is something about the road that is rather liberating.