Mel Brooks Quotes
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Oh, I'm not a true genius. I'm a near genius. I would say I'm a short genius. I'd rather be tall and normal than a short genius.
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Sheriff Bart: Since I am your host and you are my guest what are your hobbies? What do you like to do in your free time?Jim 'The Waco Kid': Oh you know, play chess...screw.Sheriff Bart: Well let's play chess!
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Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
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Well, just being stupid and politically incorrect doesn't work. You can be politically incorrect if you're smart.
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A brushstroke of vanity is good to add into the mix, to balance your timidity. We're all blessed with a lot of timidity and a lot of worry and anxiety, and vanity is a good antidote.
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Well, you know, 'Spaceballs' is a weird combination, because it's a simple, sweet little fairytale, and it's crazy and out-there and making fun of and taking apart sci-fi, 'Star Wars', and 'Star Trek'.
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Rhetoric does not get you anywhere, because Hitler and Mussolini are just as good at rhetoric. But if you can bring these people down with comedy, they stand no chance.
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As far as songwriters, I've always been a fan of Irving Berlin, Cole Porter, and George Gershwin; those guys mean a lot to me.
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Dark Helmet after everyone on the bridge announces that their last name is 'Asshole.': I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes.
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If presidents can't do it to their wives, they do it to their country.
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He who hesitates is poor.
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Look, I don't want to wax philosophic, but I will say that if you're alive you've got to flap your arms and legs, you've got to jump around a lot, for life is the very opposite of death, and therefore you must at very least think noisy and colorfully, or you're not alive.
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Angel of Death ain't kissing me! I'm full of garlic!
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If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively.
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Dark Helmet: What's the matter Colonel Sandurz... chicken?!
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Ahchoo:Man, white men can't jump!!
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Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die.
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Sheriff Bart waking up a drunk Jim in jail: Are we awake?Jim 'The Waco Kid': We don't know. Are we black?Sheriff Bart: Yes we are.Jim 'The Waco Kid': Then we're awake, but we're very puzzled.
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explaining that Paul Revere was Anti-Semitic He was scared they were moving into the neighborhood. 'They're coming, they're coming. The Yiddish, they're coming'
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Josephus: I'm Josephus, and I'm the main course over at the Colosseum!
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Everything starts with writing. And then to support your vision, your ideas, your philosophy, your jokes, whatever, you've gotta perform them and/or direct them, or sometimes just produce them.
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After I eat asparagus...
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Igor: My grandfather used to work for your grandfather. Of course the rates have gone up.
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A lot of music is mathematics. It's balance.