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No! You don't wear a hat on your gentles! You wear a hat on your head where you're supposed to wear a hat!
Mel Brooks
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We rest our case on the production numbers.
Mel Brooks
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But I have bad taste with a deep fount of intellectuality.
Mel Brooks
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Excuse me, is this England?
Mel Brooks
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My job is to go out and entertain the most people possible.
Mel Brooks
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I wish I was better looking.
Mel Brooks
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I'm rather secular. I'm basically Jewish. But I think I'm Jewish not because of the Jewish religion at all.
Mel Brooks
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Who's the dummy writing this show?!
Mel Brooks
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I loved Westerns as a little kid, and I loved horror films.
Mel Brooks
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President Skroob: What the hell, it works on Star Trek!
Mel Brooks
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Dom DeLuise was a big man in every way. He was big in size and created big laughter and joy.
Mel Brooks
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There's an army story in me, and I think there's a WWII Brooks film somewhere.
Mel Brooks
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Sheriff Bart: Excuse me while I whip this out.
Mel Brooks
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Leo Bloom: Actors are not animals! They're human beings!Max Bialystock: They are? Have you ever eaten with one?
Mel Brooks
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We want to get people laughing; we don't want to offend anybody.
Mel Brooks
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Stormtrooper MelĀ : Don't be stupid, be a smarty Come and join the Nazi Party!
Mel Brooks
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Max Bialystock: How could this happen? I was so careful. I picked the wrong play, the wrong director, the wrong cast. Where did I go right?
Mel Brooks
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I only direct in self-defense.
Mel Brooks
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If you stand on a soapbox and trade rhetoric with a dictator you never win.
Mel Brooks
