Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Nursery schools and bars at 2 a.m. are the only places where it is completely normal if someone just spontaneously throws up on the floor...and just like a toddler, the bar patron wakes up the next day not remembering or caring how they behaved.

Quotes to Explore
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We overvalue the arts in relation to the sciences.
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In reality, throughout your career, you have to make yourself interesting enough for people to be waiting to see your films. In my case, people are longing to see what I come out with next. That's my success.
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Writing for children hadn't occurred to me when I was younger, but nine years of teaching in the upper elementary grades had given me a deep appreciation of the gifts and graces that are specific to individuals with 10 or 11 years of experience as human beings.
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I just get focused on whatever is in front of me. When I was filming Crossroads, it had all my focus. Now I'm all focused on finishing my recording so I can get that out. It's just day by day.
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I'm as addicted to 'Power' as I am 'Empire.' I'm just grateful. We get a chance to have two phenomenal shows that we can enjoy. So when 'Empire' is over, 'Power' starts. When 'Power' is over, 'Empire' starts.
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Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.
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If I got hit by a truck, I would want to go to hospital, but if something is bothering me I will see my naturopath.
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If I can hit No. 1 on the 'New York Times' best-seller list, I'm thinking of having the entire list tattooed on my body somewhere. It would be fabulous.
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I'd repair our education system or replace it with something that works.
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How are we to live with the desert, in the desert, within the desert?
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Love is the one wild card.
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I knew David Lynch going to television was going to be something. It was either going to not work, nobody was going to get it and it would disappear, or it was going to be something special and really stand out.
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I wanted to take nouvelle cuisine further, to the point where we were breaking down the essence of taste and sensation, reconfiguring food as a series of really intense hits on the tongue.
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There's some quality you get when you're not totally comfortable. When you're not doing what you're used to, you could completely fall on your face. You could completely blow it.
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We are all ruled in what we do by impulses; and these impulses are so organized that our actions in general serve for our self preservation and that of the race.
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In a way, it's good not to be recognised as much off screen.
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Stay away from drugs. They're not worth it. I've tried, but there's none of them that's worth it.
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I love coming to London and seeing what people on the street are wearing.
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The little bit of buzz around 'Warrior' led to a lot of opportunities anyway, before the movie even came out.
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Marketers sometimes get caught in this lie that you must talk to people only in the voice that they recognize.
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Do not fear. Look beyond what's dying to what's being born.
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I'm not saying anything to denigrate 'Criminal Minds'; that's a great show. I just didn't appreciate it anymore. I appreciate those people, but I realized my heart wasn't in and I needed to go because plenty of people would rip their arm off to be on that show, so they should be.
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I wanted to be an endurance athlete from a young age. I remember being in a careers class at school and saying I wanted to be a professional athlete and the teacher replying, 'You're not going to make it; it's not possible.'
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Nursery schools and bars at 2 a.m. are the only places where it is completely normal if someone just spontaneously throws up on the floor...and just like a toddler, the bar patron wakes up the next day not remembering or caring how they behaved.