Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Nursery schools and bars at 2 a.m. are the only places where it is completely normal if someone just spontaneously throws up on the floor...and just like a toddler, the bar patron wakes up the next day not remembering or caring how they behaved.

Quotes to Explore
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We overvalue the arts in relation to the sciences.
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In reality, throughout your career, you have to make yourself interesting enough for people to be waiting to see your films. In my case, people are longing to see what I come out with next. That's my success.
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Writing for children hadn't occurred to me when I was younger, but nine years of teaching in the upper elementary grades had given me a deep appreciation of the gifts and graces that are specific to individuals with 10 or 11 years of experience as human beings.
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I'm as addicted to 'Power' as I am 'Empire.' I'm just grateful. We get a chance to have two phenomenal shows that we can enjoy. So when 'Empire' is over, 'Power' starts. When 'Power' is over, 'Empire' starts.
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Immigration is the sincerest form of flattery.
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If I got hit by a truck, I would want to go to hospital, but if something is bothering me I will see my naturopath.
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If I can hit No. 1 on the 'New York Times' best-seller list, I'm thinking of having the entire list tattooed on my body somewhere. It would be fabulous.
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I'd repair our education system or replace it with something that works.
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How are we to live with the desert, in the desert, within the desert?
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Love is the one wild card.
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I knew David Lynch going to television was going to be something. It was either going to not work, nobody was going to get it and it would disappear, or it was going to be something special and really stand out.
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I wanted to take nouvelle cuisine further, to the point where we were breaking down the essence of taste and sensation, reconfiguring food as a series of really intense hits on the tongue.
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There's some quality you get when you're not totally comfortable. When you're not doing what you're used to, you could completely fall on your face. You could completely blow it.
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We are all ruled in what we do by impulses; and these impulses are so organized that our actions in general serve for our self preservation and that of the race.
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In a way, it's good not to be recognised as much off screen.
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Stay away from drugs. They're not worth it. I've tried, but there's none of them that's worth it.
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I love coming to London and seeing what people on the street are wearing.
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Very often there's this misapprehension about actors being people that need to display themselves, to reveal themselves in public.
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As we have more women in power, so the plays and the TV dramas are reflecting what's happening.
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I used to get 2000 as pocket money, and I was being offered a car and an opportunity to make lakhs, so I said a yes. I was a kid and got homesick over my 40-day schedule in Bangalore and decided that I would only do films in the South if they were 10-day roles.
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I am neither a homosexual nor a eunuch, nor have I ever taken any vows of chastity.
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Has President Bush exceeded his constitutional authority or acted illegally in authorizing wiretaps without a warrant? Benjamin Franklin would not have thought so.
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It's hard to have little children and a job and career at the same time. There is no time left for you as a woman.
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Nursery schools and bars at 2 a.m. are the only places where it is completely normal if someone just spontaneously throws up on the floor...and just like a toddler, the bar patron wakes up the next day not remembering or caring how they behaved.