Jim Gaffigan Quotes

I know that Colbert could quote Thomas Aquinas and all this, but I'm somebody who, because it's a necessity for me on a personal basis. I need it because I'm a lunatic.

Jim Gaffigan

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• Lunatic

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Quotes to Explore

• It's funny because when I'm outside Australia, I never get to do my Australian accent in anything. It's always a Danish accent or an English accent or an American accent.

  

  Mallory Jansen
  • American
  • Funny
  • English

• The American landscape has no foreground and the American mind no background.

  

  Edith Wharton
  • Mind
  • American
  • Landscape

• Russia can be quite a dangerous place sometimes, but I never think about it.

  

  Marc Almond Soft Cell
  • Think
  • Sometimes
  • Never

• When I was a kid, we never had a videogame in my house. But my cousin did, and each time I went to her house I was able to play 'Tetris' and 'Mario.' Those were the only two games I played as a child.

  

  Olga Kurylenko
  • Time
  • House
  • Never

• Go to the young conductors who are not making it, and you will hear how we shouldn't push ourselves or sell ourselves, how they don't have the right connections and the right opportunities. Well, you can be sure they've had the opportunities.

  

  Zubin Mehta
  • Opportunities
  • Connections

• Despite the demands of this job, one of the things my wife and I try to do is to spend time together alone. And one of the things we really enjoy doing together is seeing a good movie.

  

  Warren Christopher
  • Time
  • Good
  • Job

• If I hear a lie in my life with my children, with my wife, my work, my audiences, I want to annihilate myself, vaporize myself and wipe myself off the face of the earth.

  

  Mandy Patinkin
  • Life
  • Work
  • Children

• The value of 'Made in Italy' must necessarily be up-to-date. This is the philosophy that Italia Independent has embraced. We decided from the outset to do away with stereotypes and attune ourselves to the extreme pace, to the incessant metamorphoses of the globalized world.

  

  Lapo Elkann
  • Up
  • World
  • Value

• I'm fulfilling my dreams that I had as a kid every single day. That's why I'm trying to enjoy it so much.

  

  Aaron Rodgers
  • Trying
  • Why
  • Single

• When I am writing a story it feels as real as the life I am experiencing off the page. It's an emotional illusion, I guess.

  

  Tayari Jones
  • Life
  • Writing
  • Emotional

• I write songs about things that I'm simultaneously trying to not think about.

  

  Warren Zevon
  • Trying

• If you want a strong society, it has to be inclusive. If you have to push a boulder up a hill, do you want 10 people or 100? If you weed out colour or gender, you get 10.

  

  Cyndi Lauper Blue Angel
  • People
  • Up
  • Society

• If you saw me without makeup, you wouldn't recognize me.

  

  Cyndi Lauper Blue Angel
  • Makeup
  • Saws

• If I came across a role that is completely mainstream and commercial, but it's the right one, I'd jump at the chance.

  

  Kylie Minogue
  • Chance
  • Jump
  • Role

• My friends call me 'Dolittle One' [a reference to her physical stature and affinity for animals].

  

  Gloria Estefan Miami Sound Machine
  • Friends
  • Animal
  • Affinity

• There are times when you do a play when you are living in the character over a two-and-a-half-hour period or longer, and you come to the end of the night, and you can feel like you were hit by a truck.

  

  Kevin Spacey
  • Character
  • Night
  • Period

• I heard Davey Havok has a brand of eyeliner out now... its AFI-liner

  

  Billie Joe Armstrong Green Day
  • Brand
  • Davey Havok
  • AFI-liner

• I don't believe in luck. ... It's persistence, hard work, and not forgetting your dream.

  

  Janet Jackson
  • Work
  • Believe
  • Dream

• Children are people, and they should have to reach to learn about things, to understand things, just as adults have to reach if they want to grow in mental stature. Life is composed of lights and shadows, and we would be untruthful, insincere, and saccharine if we tried to pretend there were no shadows. Most things are good, and they are the strongest things; but there are evil things too, and you are not doing a child a favor by trying to shield him from reality. The important thing is to teach a child that good can always triumph over evil.

  

  Walt Disney
  • People
  • Life
  • Good

• I'm not much of a distance runner, more of a sprinter.

  

  Carrie Jones
  • Distance
  • Runner
  • Sprinter

• I look for what's of value and extract that. I don't look to criticize.

  

  Herbie Hancock
  • Criticism
  • Criticize

• I know that Colbert could quote Thomas Aquinas and all this, but I'm somebody who, because it's a necessity for me on a personal basis. I need it because I'm a lunatic.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Needs
  • Knows
  • Bases