Jim Gaffigan Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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If my child had prejudice in his head, I'd be ashamed. I would see it as my failure as a parent.
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People work hard.
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Class structures are a luxury that we cannot afford.
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People, who accused me of practising a monopoly were wrong. The media fuelled rumours about my 'monopoly.' The first question I was always asked during interviews was about my supposed monopoly.
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With giant sites like Facebook and MySpace becoming as generic as Yahoo and AOL of old, more and more sites will be looking for an edge by drilling down deeply to serve a highly targeted audience.
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John Dalton's records, carefully preserved for a century, were destroyed during the World War II bombing of Manchester. It is not only the living who are killed in war.
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I think Hollywood has seen what fandom can do for a project. You can definitely see that when you go to Comic-con.
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When I'm all alone it's the best way to be. When I'm by myself nobody else can say goodbye. Everything is temporary anyway. When the streets are wet - the colors slip into the sky. But I don't know why that means you and I are - that means you and... I quit, I give up. Nothin's good enough for anybody else, it seems.
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I slept with a woman on the ship, and afterwards I was thinking, 'Am I gaaaay? Am I straaaaight?' And then I realized: I'm just slutty. Where's my parade?
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The leading character isn't always the most important or interesting character; when people think that the protagonist is the character portrayed, it's people who haven't read Shakespeare.
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Both of my kids have my sense of humor - they're definitely entertaining.
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People's faith, people's beliefs are such a personal thing, and it defies definition. I'm so rarely interested in discussing what I believe or what you believe. I think it's liquid, anyway.
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I try as much as possible not to utter a single line that I don't believe in.
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The very essence of rationalism is that it assumes that the reason is the highest faculty in man and the lord of all the rest.
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I have a very muscular face.
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I'm not interested in fame at all.
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Newsflash for any of the current, past or future Survivors out there... when you contemplate strategizing about the other team, the best idea is to shut up and keep it to yourself. You're welcome; this bill is in the mail.
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There are no tests similar to SATs to tell us how much undergraduates know. State legislators, who appropriate billions of dollars each year to higher education, are naturally interested in finding out what they are getting for their money.
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Boughs have their fruit and blossom At all times of the year; Rivers are running over With red beer and brown beer.
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The important thing is to be in love with something.
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I think the kazoo and chocolate-chip cookies have a lot in common. All you need is a mouth to appreciate either one.
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So my doctor told me to watch what I'm eating - to read food labels. I'm in the store reading the Fig Newtons label: I've always liked Fig Newtons. I'm reading the label to make sure everything's fine: fat content. I looked at the serving size; two cookies. Who eats two cookies? I eat Fig Newtons by the sleeve: two sleeves is a serving size. I open them both and eat them like a tree chipper; Fig Newton shavings coming off the side.
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Cookies at both of them. The cookies are probably better at Letterman though.
