Jim Gaffigan Quotes

Some people that work for Hot Pockets came to my Denver Paramount Theater show. They brought these hot pocket boxes the size of suit cases for me to sign. I wrote "these are WMD's" on the boxes. The HP people seem to have a good sense of humor about all of it.

Jim Gaffigan

• Cases
• Boxes
• Pockets
• Denver

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Quotes to Explore

• The typical workday, particularly in startup mode, is from nine to six or nine to seven, then you take a two-hour break to work out and eat dinner. By that time, you're relaxed, and then you work until midnight or one A.M. If there was no break with physical activity, you'd be more tired and less alert.

  

  Aaron Patzer
  • Time
  • Work
  • Tired

• It's always great when you're really needed.

  

  Dale Murphy
  • Great
  • You
  • Always

• I have always admired teachers because teaching, like the priesthood, medicine and writing, is a vocation. You don't become a teacher because you want wealth. It is the same with writing.

  

  F. Sionil Jose
  • Writing
  • Teacher
  • Same

• Nature's message is clear: we can't keep doing what we're doing now.

  

  Kevin Spacey
  • Nature
  • Clear Messages

• I'm turning 30 years old this year ... it's better than 20, I'll tell you that. The lessons I've learned.

  

  Christina Aguilera
  • Years
  • Lessons
  • I've Learned

• Bruises fade father, but the pain remains the same. And I still remember how you kept me so afraid.

  

  Christina Aguilera
  • Family
  • Remember
  • Father

• Each generation of scientists also depends upon its own environment.

  

  Owen Chamberlain
  • Environment
  • Generation
  • Scientists

• The term 'lady' has been so misused, that I like better the old-fashioned term, woman.

  

  Sara Willis
  • Term
  • Has Beens
  • Old-fashioned

• [J]ust because you have an individual right does not mean that the state or local government can't constrain the exercise of that right.

  

  Barack Obama
  • Exercise

• As crude a weapon as a cave man's club, the chemical barrage has been hurled against the fabric of life.

  

  Rachel Carson
  • Life

• I look at the effect that an individual's fame has on their family, for example, and the limitations that places upon your life to an extent - of course, it brings marvelous things too, but it brings them mainly to the individual. The people around the famous person often pay a price without reaping many of the rewards.

  

  Joanne Rowling
  • People
  • Life
  • Family

• I'm the type of person who loves to stay busy, even in my off-season.

  

  Eli Manning
  • Person
  • Loves
  • Offseason

• You might find it necessary to 'snap' out of your mental inertia, moving slowly at first, then increasing your speed, until you gain complete control over your will. Be persistent no matter how slowly you may, at first, have to move. With persistence will come success.

  

  Napoleon Hill
  • May
  • Success
  • Control

• A smile is just such an amazing thing. And to think that some of those people can now smile because they can see you, that gives me that sort of charge, energy... that's what powers up my batteries. That's the joy that I have and that keeps me going. That's my rocket fuel, I suppose.

  

  Gabi Hollows
  • People
  • Up
  • Thinking

• The Chinese government launched China's first 24-hour news channel. And since the channel will only report stories that are favorable to the ruling party, they've decided to call it Fox News.

  

  Conan O'Brien
  • Party
  • Government
  • Chinese

• They managed to sleep together, but there wasn't enough for dreaming.

  

  Ernst Moritz Arndt
  • Together
  • Sleep
  • Dreaming

• I think a film should have a gestation period of at least two or three years.

  

  Roland Joffe
  • Thinking
  • Should
  • Periods

• Only fools want to be great.

  

  T. H. White
  • Great

• In any case I hold that there must arise a science of the development of economic forms and relations.

  

  William Stanley Jevons
  • Development
  • Economic
  • Form

• Some people that work for Hot Pockets came to my Denver Paramount Theater show. They brought these hot pocket boxes the size of suit cases for me to sign. I wrote "these are WMD's" on the boxes. The HP people seem to have a good sense of humor about all of it.

  

  Jim Gaffigan
  • Cases
  • Boxes
  • Pockets