Jimmy Kimmel Quotes
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'To be perfectly honest with you, ABC picks you to do this and then the machine goes into action and you shoot promos. But I'm still sitting in my bedroom at home going, 'Jeez, I don't know if I can do this. I don't know if I'm going to be able to do it.' And it's a weird situation to be in. And I guess we'll all find out.
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I'm not seen as classy enough to host the Oscars.
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I know there are, like, 12 rules for late night: a desk, a band. Will people take me seriously if I don't wear a tie?
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I did not have any delusions of grandeur as a kid.
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There's no debate about the greenhouse effect, just like there's no debate about gravity. If someone throws a piano off the roof, I don't care what Sarah Palin tells you, get out of the way because it's coming down on your head.
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I still love comic books. When you have a kid, that's an excuse to keep reading all the comic books.
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That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't.
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I have like fifteen televisions in my house.
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I don't really need to be dirty to be funny.
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It is kind of funny that the people who don't think Hillary Clinton is fit and healthy enough to be president are so worried that Hillary Clinton is fit and healthy enough to be president.
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I definitely feel pressure to keep slim. I don't want to be the guy who lost weight and gained it all back. But it's hard. Sometimes I'll gorge and gain nine pounds in a weekend somehow, and I get bummed about it.
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People's lives are boring.
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I'm on the Internet a lot more than I watch TV and most everybody I know is, and yet if you watch most late-night talk shows, it's as if it doesn't even exist. So the Internet, it's just something I wanted to make use of in some way. I was fascinated by what appeared to be a child singing this song. It just struck me as funny.