Jimmy Carr Quotes
I like to write a joke without any fat on it. The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
Quotes to Explore
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My mom really inspired me. She has always taught me it's not about us, it's about what we can give back.
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My dad only ever talked about two things: bicycles and Mercedes.
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In terms of people that I know, my grandmother and my mother are huge influences on my writing life because they are both massively supportive and always have been of my career.
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After six years without seeing one, I love just seeing a smile - every smile I see gives me hope.
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In order to lead a country or a company, you've got to get everybody on the same page and you've got to be able to have a vision of where you're going. America can't have a vision of health care for everybody, green economy, regulations - can't have a bunch of piece-meal activities. It's got to have a vision.
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I developed my training routine going into my senior year at Jackson State. I found this sandbank by the Pearl River near my hometown, Columbia, Miss. I laid out a course of 65 yards or so. Sixty-five yards on sand is like 120 on turf, but running on sand helps you make your cuts at full speed.
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The Koran was revealed at a time of great change in the Arab world, the seventh-century shift from a matriarchal nomadic culture to an urban patriarchal system.
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The goal in life is to be solid, whereas the way that life works is totally fluid, so you can never actually achieve that goal.
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I hope Obama gets scary in the next four years, 'cuz he ain't gotta worry about getting re-elected.
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The thing about tennis is if you stay off for two weeks, or just for three days, you can lose your rhythm quickly. So it's just a question of constant diligence and vigilance.
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When someone was hitting me, or like sexually molesting me, it just seemed normal to continue to do that to myself.
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Be skeptical of concepts that divorce war from its political nature, particularly those that promise fast, cheap victory through technology.
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The best way to look stylish on a budget is to try second-hand, bargain hunting, and vintage.
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Your focus should be on creating an environment where growth can occur and then letting nature take its course.
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Be assured those will be thy worst enemies, not to whom thou hast done evil, but who have done evil to thee. And those will be thy best friends, not to whom thou hast done good, but who have done good to thee.
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I think what it really is, is that I date creative people. And I think that what intimidates them is not my purse; it's my mind.
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Vatican II was a force that seized the mind of the Roman Catholic Church and carried it across centuries from the 13th to the 20th.
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My family is from Nigeria, and my full name is Uzoamaka, which means 'The road is good.'
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That was my dream, to compete against the best surfers in the best waves. But as a kid, it all seemed so unattainable. It was this big dream, but deep down I never thought it could really happen. But my parents always believed I could do it, and they helped me get through all the stages and take all the right steps.
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A pessimist is just an optimist with experience.
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But the best thing Washington can do for education is realize that our role is limited. Washington must keep its promises, but let those who know our childrens' names- parents, teachers and school board members- make education decisions.
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The best part about being a stand-up is the connection with the audience. There's nothing more gratifying then when you can make 300 people applaud and stand up - because that's all you.
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Wickedness is a myth invented by good people to account for the curious attraction of others.
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I like to write a joke without any fat on it. The shorter the better. I cater for people with ADD, basically.
