Joe R. Lansdale Quotes
Quotes to Explore
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A waning United States would likely be more nationalistic, more defensive about its national identity, more paranoid about its homeland security, and less willing to sacrifice resources for the sake of others' development.
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If the perpetrators of the World Trade Center plane crashes had a nuclear weapon, there's no doubt in my mind but that they would've detonated it in New York.
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I never get tired of performing to people who want to hear me. Hell, that's my handshake to the world. I'm doing just what I've wanted to do since that day I was 15 and heard Lenny Breau play the guitar.
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I'm not - I'm not a person looking for money. I have no political ambitions whatsoever. I don't seek power. I don't seek any kind of praise. I have no ego to fulfill.
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Where was Paris Hilton a year ago? She's a fabulous character to write about.
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Then I did one fight scene, and they said it looked good. Because I did it well enough, they've given me more.
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Veterans are my life's work. From the day my buddies saved my life in Iraq, I've woken up every single day dedicated to taking care of veterans and doing my best for veterans.
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Business creates jobs; government does not. Government creates a whole slew of jobs each time a new program or scheme is implemented, but always at the expense of the taxpayer. Small businesses invest in new businesses, which results in more jobs.
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When you believe in a thing, believe in it all the way, implicitly and unquestionable.
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I think a policy of isolationism toward Cuba is misplaced and hasn't worked.
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I had rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world.
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If there was a god, I'd still have both nuts.
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Not much goes on in the mind of a squirrel. Huge portions of what is loosely termed 'the squirrel brain' are given over to one thought: food. The average squirrel cogitation goes something like this: I wonder what there is to eat.
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If computers are the wave of the future, displays are the surfboards.
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Dan Smith: I've tried (in vi) 'g/[a-z]\n[a-z]/s//_/'...but that doesn't cut it. Any ideas? (I take it that it may be a two-pass sort of solution).Larry Wall: In the first pass, install perl.
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You borrow my brain for 5 seconds, and just be like 'Dude, can't handle it, unplug this bastard', because it fires in a way that is, I don't know, maybe not from this particular terrestrial realm.
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Let me give you a definition of ethics: It is good to maintain and further life - it is bad to damage and destroy life. And this ethic, profound and universal, has the significance of a religion. It is religion.
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He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk Descending from the bus: He looked again, and found it was A Hippopotamus: 'If this should stay to dine,' he said, 'There won't be much for us!'
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I think any great culture is born out of transparent, authentic communication. You almost can't overcommunicate. You can try, and you might think, 'Oh, do I really have to say this again?' And the answer is yes.
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How did a prairie-dwelling, red-meat-eating, gun-toting former conservative become the hope of liberal radio? It all started with this annoying habit I have of speaking my mind.
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Anybody can go onstage and be dirty. You have to be funny, that's the key. You can say anything as long as it's funny. You can't take it too seriously up there. And people coming to see you can't take it too seriously.
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I don't plot, and I don't plan. I like to be surprised like the reader.
