John Cleese Quotes
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If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?
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If I like chocolate it won't surprise you that I have a few chocolates in my fridge, but if you find out I've got 16 warehouses full of chocolate, you'd think I was insane. All these rich guys are insane, obsessive compulsive twits obsessed with money — money is all they think about — they're all nuts.
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The Americans all love 'The Holy Grail', and the English all love 'Life Of Brian', and I'm afraid on this one, I side with the English.
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I don't miss London much. I find it crowded, vast and difficult to get around. Cabs are incredibly expensive.
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If life were fair, Dan Quayle would be making a living asking 'Do you want fries with that?'
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When the target audience is American teenage kids, you can have problems. My generation prized really fine acting and writing. Sometimes you have to go back to the basic principles which underpin great visual comedy.
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The really good idea is always traceable back quite a long way, often to a not very good idea which sparked off another idea that was only slightly better, which somebody else misunderstood in such a way that they then said something which was really rather interesting.
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But then acting is all about faking. We're all very good at faking things that we have no competence with.
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God was treated like this powerful, erratic, rather punitive father who has to be pacified and praised. You know, flattered.
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You don't have to be the Dalai Lama to tell people that life's about change.
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I'm always meeting new people, and my list of friends seems to change quite a bit.
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English television from the Fifties to the Nineties was the least bad in the world, and now it's just as bad as it is anywhere.
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I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.
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A man will give up almost anything except his suffering.
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Most of the bad taste I've been accused of has been generic bad taste; it's been making fun of an idea as opposed to a person.
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I can't tell you how scary it can be walking onto a movie and suddenly joining this family, it's like going to somebody else's Christmas dinner, everyone knows everyone, and you're there and you're not quite sure what you're supposed to be doing.
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The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip.