John Oliver Quotes
The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.

Quotes to Explore
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New York is my home.
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I've always been in love with the States. When I was a kid, we would take these long summer holidays in Texas, Nashville, and all over. I fell in love with the people, the food, even the smell. You don't necessarily get that in old Europe.
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Poetry is a phantom script telling how rainbows are made and why they go away.
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Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get.
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I always feel I had a very lucky life. For example, I sure didn't want to go in the army: when I was drafted in the Korean War, I wanted to go as a photographer. But luckily, they put me in the infantry - luckily because the official photographer was photographing the medal awarding and all the official situations.
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From 1 till 7, when we moved to England, I spoke only Portuguese.
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Women can stand a beating except when it is with their own weapons.
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I certainly love doing comedy and feel most comfortable near it.
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Cyclists need to help themselves and should not jump red lights. I would ride in London, but I certainly wouldn't ride like that; you just have to be careful. I can understand going down the outside of traffic, but you should obey the rules of the road because we're all road users.
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We are not in the regime of Aurangzeb. We are in the regime of rule of law. When rule of law is concerned, it applies to government, it applies to Supreme Court, it applies to everybody.
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I'm a songwriter. Everything affects me.
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I think the phrase that resonates from 'Just One Year' is something I sort of live by: 'The truth and its opposite are flip sides of the same coin.'
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Our music comes from our hearts - and it always has.
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I am fascinated with religion or things that people believe in and question that. I think it's interesting.
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Every man I meet wants to protect me. I can't figure out what from.
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Here's a rule I recommend: Never practice two vices at once.
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Across the board, women are unhappy with our industry.
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I'm the world's expert on sterotypes held by academics about athletes and held by athletes about academics. To me, both of them are caricatures.
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Anywhere in life, for girls there's pressure to keep your weight and to keep yourself feeling and looking good.
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In today's society we sometimes forget to balance our hearts and our heads; this is the reason we stop laughing.
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It's a dream come true to have someone else portray me. Because I've been living this life for a long time, and I'm over myself.
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The thing that has always disturbed me about
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I'm a meathead, man. You've got smart people, and you've got dumb people. I just happen to be dumb.
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The moment I accept that there's an artistic, redeeming quality in puns, I have a horrible feeling I'll get hooked.