John Oliver Quotes
When your rainy day fund is so big you've got to check it for swimming cartoon ducks, you might not be a non-profit anymore.

Quotes to Explore
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The father figure doesn't impress me. I have a very friendly relationship with my father, but that wasn't always the case. My mother had custody, and I only saw him every other weekend. I never knew him well enough for him to inspire me.
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All the things that were read to me by my father were stories about things becoming all right.
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The term 'personal ambition' immediately puts me off. It feels like finding a sliver of onion in my ice cream. There's nothing wrong with a sliver of onion, but I don't want it in my ice cream.
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Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
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If there is one creature that represents my essence, it's butterflies.
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I'm a person who promotes the concept of accountability to a great extent, and I've spoken in the Parliament and reinforced the need for accountability.
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I just want to play for Hindus and Muslims that sit together. That's all I want to do.
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I like the strategy of finding great entrepreneurs early, giving them some money, helping them a little - perhaps not as much as we would a regular core investment.
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It's very easy for a church just to slide along from week to week, taking it for granted that we do our services like this and that, and we celebrate the sacraments like this and that.
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The more things remain obscure and mysterious, the more they interest me. I even try to find mystery in things that have none.
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We learn by taking action and seeing whether it works or not.
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Faith, to my mind, is a stiffening process, a sort of mental starch.
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I've actually enjoyed pitching on the road in the postseason. You go out there, and you're getting booed, and it's fun to try to silence the crowd.
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Our life is full of empty space.
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All bad qualities centre round the ego. When the ego is gone, Realisation results by itself. There are neither good nor bad qualities in the Self. The Self is free from all qualities. Qualities pertain to the mind only.
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People become dons because they are incapable of doing anything else in life.
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I'm so bored by business and money.
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Timid salesmen have skinny kids.
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By the time you're eighty years old you've learned everything. You only have to remember it.
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I never feel like a smug or a smart-alec film director, and there are plenty of those around.
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My plays are always pushing towards cinema anyway. They're down and dirty, real and more fun.
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The success of ordinary cosmology speaks against the idea that the universe was created in a random fluctuation.
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The first album, for better or for worse, was done over from the ages of 17-22, with a couple of different producers. Some of it was recorded in an old swimming pool, some of it was recorded in a synagogue - it kind of was all over the place.
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When your rainy day fund is so big you've got to check it for swimming cartoon ducks, you might not be a non-profit anymore.